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Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide To The Sex Life You Deserve was written by Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, a physical therapist with countless successes in treating pain of this type. Women with vaginismus, overactive pelvic floor, painful intercourse, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, vestibulodynia, dyspareunia, interstitial cystitis have all benefited from her unique program. Heather uses her orthopaedic background to approach treatment of these muscles like they are....muscles! She utilizes a self-treatment tool called a dilator to provide massage and other muscle relaxation and stretching techniques in a gentle fashion to return a women's muscles back to a resting, rather than guarded, state.

Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide To The Sex Life You Deserve

What Others are Saying About "Sex Without Pain ":

I have seen Heather's treatment program work time and time again with my patients. Her unique approach to treating women with painful intercourse through a combination of hands on skills, patient education and the thorough home program outlined in this book has surpassed the results of her peers. Her techniques and expertise have been an invaluable resource to my practice."

- Kerri Parks, MD (Associate Professor Ob/Gyn USC Keck School of Medicine)


I will use it frequently for clients who cannot afford pelvic floor PT or for those who cannot find pelvic floor PT any where near them! I have so needed this resource. The clarity of each step and the drawings are so helpful - I don't know of any other resource that will be as effective for self-help."

- Joyce Penner, RN, MN (Sexual Therapist, Educator and Co-author of The Gift of Sex, Restoring the Pleasure and numerous other publications)


Sex Without Pain is an essential book for any woman suffering with pelvic or sexual pain. Heather's approach is simple and clear. She empowers the woman and her partner with the resources needed to lead a healthy and pain free sex life. A great read for patients and professionals alike."

- Jennifer Briggs, DPT (Women's Health Physical Therapist, Pennsylvania)


• To order "Sex Without Pain" in paperback from Amazon for $24.99, click here.

• To order an electronic read-only non-printable PDF copy of the book for instant download at $19.99, use the button below:

• To schedule an appointment at one of the Femina PT offices, click here.

• For a list of other trusted health care providers, click here.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Chronic pain doesn’t just happen to the body. It effects our thoughts and our feelings.

When pain persists beyond the body's normal healing range, 12-20 weeks (let alone over 6 months or even 6 years) it can make us worried and upset. That worry and upset can make the pain feel worse. In fact, studies now show that unchecked thoughts and feelings can hijack the body/mind setting off a vicious cycle of chronic pain.

Unrelenting stress creates wear and tear in the body. By design, stress prevents us from relaxing. A relaxed body/mind lives in a state of repair and allows us to breath more deeply and fully. Not breathing deeply and fully means that the body isn’t pumping enough blood to its vital parts, causing constrictions in those parts. Sustained constrictions of those parts causes pain in those and other nearby parts, which sounds-off more stress alarms, and round and round we go.

The body is programmed to return to wellness.

One way to mitigate pain and return yourself to wellness is to learn how to regulate your stress response. To do this, we must learn to interrupt our outdated auto-pilot programs, tune in to the present moment and get an accurate read on present danger. By hitting the pause button, we can choose a more appropriate stress response - one which matches the actual level of threat in the environment. By practicing this process over and over again we can preserve the necessary energy needed return to a baseline of wellness. To stick with the software metaphor - we have to “install" new neural programs which expand our resilience - our capacity to cope with stressors, which can break the cycle of pain.

Manage inappropriate, persistent and unwanted stress responses.

Another way to say this is, we should spend no MORE energy than is absolutely necessary to get away from, or to fight, the threat and no LESS energy than what the situation actually demands. Both is costly to our nervous system and/or body/mind. Imagine expending the same amount of energy to pick up a coffee mug as you would use to lift a 6 foot couch. Now, imagine going into a rage over a glass of spilled milk. In both cases, we waste precious energy which could be used to repair our overtaxed systems. It’s like going into credit card debt instead of paying cash. Eventually, we must pay the piper.

Why then, do we use these seemingly high level strategies for everything we do, if it will cost us our health? Typically, it’s because we haven’t fully understood the process until now, plus our culture values the “go, go, go, push, push, push” mentality. Luckily, the “new pain science” helps us understand how we can be hijacked by our systems. Until now, we didn’t fully understand how important it is to our mental, emotional, physical, social and spiritual health to pause, assess and match. We call it “regulation”.

So how do we hit the pause button on our disproportionate stress responses to help mitigate pain?

If you suspect mis-matched stress responses might be contributing to your pain symptoms, it may be time to seek out the help of an expert. Whether its outdated programming from childhood, unresolved trauma or injuries lingering in the tissue, developing some sustainable embodiment practices can help you pay off your debt.

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by Rosanna R., age 35

Heather has affected my life in the MOST POSITIVE way and I am forever grateful. My husband refers to her as the "sex doctor" so you can only imagine how happy he is with my therapy outcome.

After the birth of my son I suffered from "Vaginismus", however, at the time I just thought I was broken. My "broken vagina" affected me physically but it was an emotional struggle as well. Many women in my life also suffered with pain from sex after their babies were born so I knew I wasn't alone. They told me they "just got used to it" but I couldn't see myself living that way.

Sex wasn't just painful, it was literally impossible - IT DIDNT FIT!

Read more: Testimonial by Rosanna R.,...

Testimonial by S.S., age 54

Heather is the best! I saw her today for terrible hip/groin pain. I was so impressed with the safety measures in place and felt completely safe . Thanks for the healing hands.

S.S., age 54

Testimonial by P.M.

I was hopeful but frankly skeptical when the doctor treating me for Interstitial Cystitis recommended that I go to Heather for physical therapy. Medication and diet helped control my IC symptoms, but I had never heard of physical therapy being used to treat IC. The education and treatment I received from Heather was a revelation. She explained that the pain I experienced with IC had helped create a cycle of muscle guarding which affected the entire pelvic area. I had no idea of the amount of tension being held there. No wonder my husband and I had not been able to have sexual intercourse for years!

Read more: Testimonial by P.M.

Testimonial by A.M.

Months after giving birth, it was difficult for me to go from a sitting or lying position up to a full standing position without feeling that I had to remain hunched over until a bit of time had passed to get fully upright. However, after taking Heather’s course, I learned exercises to get my body back to normal. She also showed me correct ways to lift and carry my son as well as put him in/take him out of the carseat and stroller. This class was really beneficial and Heather is a wonderful teacher who made me feel very comfortable.

-- A.M.

Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

I can’t speak highly enough of the theapists at Femina Physical Therapy and how much they have helped me grow, discover, and love my body. I had had painful sex for my entire life, and didn’t know that there was anything that could be done about it. It was at the point where my husband and I were not having sex for MONTHs, because it was just too frustrating, and I hated feeling like I was the ONLY woman out there who had this problem, especially at my age. I finally brought it up to my doctor because I was turning 40 and my husband and I were barely having enough sex to conceive. And she brought up pelvic floor, PT. I didn’t even know this was a “thing”.

Read more: Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

Testimonial by Lauren B.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has been such an answer to prayer, i'm so glad I found them! I've been struggling with vaginismus my whole life, but didn't have a name for it until about 6 or 7 months ago. Even once I did have a name for it though, I didn't know where to begin in getting help. My OB/GYN had me get a set of dilators, but I couldn't even insert the smallest one by myself. Most times I tried I just ended up frustrated and in tears. I felt really alone, like I was broken and didn't have the energy to keep trying. When I got engaged a few months ago though, I realized I needed to get answers so i wasn't dreading my honeymoon.

Read more: Testimonial by Lauren B.

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