Her Campus: 9 Ways to Make First Time Sex Less Painful
- Written by Heather Jeffcoat, DPT
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Heather Jeffcoat, DPT
Looking For Ways to Make First Time Sex Less Painful? Read On.
Having sex for the first time, particularly penetrative sex, can be a huge deal, especially for young women living in a world where the value of our virginity has been driven into our brains from a young age. Sex can be awkward, messy, and even painful for some, leading to anxiety before and while it happens. Sex is a learning process, so whether you’re preparing to lose your virginity (or have sex with a new partner for the first time), try listening to sex-positive podcasts or following sex-positive TikTokers to get more comfortable with the idea. Either way at least a little discomfort is inevitable, but pain should not be on the agenda (unless you like it like that), so it’s important to know how to reduce pain during first-time penetration.
“First-time penetrative sex does not have to be painful,” Suzannah Weiss, certified sexologist, sex educator, and sex/love coach, tells Her Campus. The idea that it does is just another patriarchial lie stemming from the days when women were considered the property of their husband, and their virginity considered proof of his ownership. The hymen, which Weiss says is also known as the vaginal corona, is not the same in every person born with one. “Some are born without one, some have hymenal tissue even after they’ve had sex, and some people’s hymens stretch or tear before they ever have sex,” she says. “It’s not a firm barrier, but a stretchable ring of tissue that covers the vagina only partially. So, the idea that someone needs to ‘pop your cherry’ before you experience penetration is outdated and wrong. Nothing needs to tear, break, or bleed. If you have hymenal tissue, it can be gently stretched to accommodate something inside it.”
So, how can you properly prepare to sleep with your new partner, and reduce the amount of pain you feel? From masturbating on your own to learn what you like, proper lubrication, relaxing aromatherapy, making sure you’re on the same page as your partner, considering proactive painkillers, and more, here are nine tips for making sure you have a more pleasurable experience during your first time.
7. And Then Use Some More Lube.
Some women may naturally produce enough lubricant that you don’t need to add more, but Smith reminds those that need more not to be embarrassed by the use of lube.
Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy and owner of Femina Physical Therapy, recommends using additional lubrication the first time you have penetrative sex. Water and silicone-based lubricants are compatible with condoms, while oil-based lubricants are not.
Silicone tends to last the longest and is great if there are any issues with vaginal dryness,” she says. “Water-based lubricants that are glycerin-free are what to look for if you are prone to yeast infections.”
For the full expose on ways to make first time sex less painful, continue to the full article here.