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ways to make first time sex less painful
Photo by reproductive health supplies coalition on unsplash
Her Campus journalist Sammi Burke penned this recent article about ways to make first time sex less painful, and I was more than happy to help out. Here is a brief synopsis of the article, along with a link to the full article below.

Heather Jeffcoat, DPT

Looking For Ways to Make First Time Sex Less Painful? Read On.

Having sex for the first time, particularly penetrative sex, can be a huge deal, especially for young women living in a world where the value of our virginity has been driven into our brains from a young age. Sex can be awkward, messy, and even painful for some, leading to anxiety before and while it happens. Sex is a learning process, so whether you’re preparing to lose your virginity (or have sex with a new partner for the first time), try listening to sex-positive podcasts or following sex-positive TikTokers to get more comfortable with the idea. Either way at least a little discomfort is inevitable, but pain should not be on the agenda (unless you like it like that), so it’s important to know how to reduce pain during first-time penetration.

First-time penetrative sex does not have to be painful,” Suzannah Weiss, certified sexologist, sex educator, and sex/love coach, tells Her Campus. The idea that it does is just another patriarchial lie stemming from the days when women were considered the property of their husband, and their virginity considered proof of his ownership. The hymen, which Weiss says is also known as the vaginal corona, is not the same in every person born with one. “Some are born without one, some have hymenal tissue even after they’ve had sex, and some people’s hymens stretch or tear before they ever have sex,” she says. “It’s not a firm barrier, but a stretchable ring of tissue that covers the vagina only partially. So, the idea that someone needs to ‘pop your cherry’ before you experience penetration is outdated and wrong. Nothing needs to tear, break, or bleed. If you have hymenal tissue, it can be gently stretched to accommodate something inside it.”

So, how can you properly prepare to sleep with your new partner, and reduce the amount of pain you feel? From masturbating on your own to learn what you like, proper lubrication, relaxing aromatherapy, making sure you’re on the same page as your partner, considering proactive painkillers, and more, here are nine tips for making sure you have a more pleasurable experience during your first time.

7. And Then Use Some More Lube.

Some women may naturally produce enough lubricant that you don’t need to add more, but Smith reminds those that need more not to be embarrassed by the use of lube.  

Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy and owner of Femina Physical Therapy, recommends using additional lubrication the first time you have penetrative sex. Water and silicone-based lubricants are compatible with condoms, while oil-based lubricants are not.

Silicone tends to last the longest and is great if there are any issues with vaginal dryness,” she says. “Water-based lubricants that are glycerin-free are what to look for if you are prone to yeast infections.”

For the full expose on ways to make first time sex less painful, continue to the full article here.

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by A.B.

Before I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat I was living in a nightmare. I had been married to my husband for three years and I was suffering from Vaginismus. That all changed when I visited my OBGYN and she said she knew of someone with a great success rate. To be honest I was hesitant at first because my first doctor had already told me that all I needed to do was order dilators from the internet and I should overcome my problem. She was wrong because I had followed the book on how to use the dilators with absolutely no advancements in my condition. However, that all changed when I went in for my first visit and Heather took the time to explain my condition and how we were going to work together to overcome it.

I remember leaving her office with a glimmer of hope that I could live a normal life. As my sessions continued I began to see immediate results. With only four sessions and a strict dedication to my home programs I was cured of Vaginismus. In the beginning of this process I was made aware that my health insurance company might not cover the costs, which was disappointing but today I can say one hundred percent that it was the best money I ever spent. Now thanks to Heather I am finally enjoying my life to the fullest with my husband. Thank you Heather, I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done for me. I will never forget it. Those who are suffering from these types of conditions don’t be afraid because she makes you feel so comfortable and the end result is worth it. Good luck to you all and I hope you experience the success I have.
-- A.B.

Testimonial by Fritzette H.

I went to Heather after the birth of my third child. It was lucky, really, that I was referred to her, because my doctor had referred me to a surgeon for a possible hysterectomy or pelvic wall rebuild. Thankfully, I went to Heather before undergoing either surgery, she was able to fix the problem. She has studied extensively in women's health--even written a book about it--and was able to diagnose my problem, suggest a course of treatment (6 weeks), and then follow through with said treatment. By the end, as she said, I was as good as gold. Boy, was it worth it! Though uncomfortable to talk about, much less write about, it is worth getting the word out there. If you have painful intercourse, especially after birth or other trauma, the treatment may be as simple as Physical Therapy (with Heather, of course). I highly recommend her.

-- Fritzette H., 3/24/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by M.M.

My husband and I were married for 5 years and unable to have intercourse, but I never knew why. After numerous awful experiences at doctor’s offices (where many doctors told me I “just needed to relax”), a surgery that didn’t fix the problem, and a year of owning dilators that didn’t get me anywhere, someone finally referred me to Heather for Physical Therapy. I finally had answers and information from someone who knew exactly what I was dealing with!

Read more: Testimonial by M.M.

Testimonial by S.H., age 24

I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me for the past 19 months. I literally could not have reached my goals without you and your practice. You gave me the courage to keep moving forth with my treatment no matter how afraid and anxious I was. You were always there to answer questions and made this whole process so much easier than I expected it to be.

It's because of you that my marriage is on the right track, that I can get pregnant and that this part of my life is finally over. I really feel that Fusion Wellness is a team of people you can call family and are there to root for you and cheer you on until you reach your goals. There is nothing better than knowing I accomplished this with you guys by my side and as calmly and patiently as I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there and helping me reach my goals.

S.H., age 24

Testimonial by R.D., age 38

"I had a severe tear during childbirth that was not stitched together correctly and therefore healed poorly. Even after having a surgery a year later to remove the scar tissue, I was still having pain, and no one could explain why -- there was no overt 'reason' to explain the pain. I had tried other 'specialists' and even saw another physical therapist who had me do hip / leg stretches -- what a joke! I was about to give up and just 'live with it' until thankfully I kept searching online and found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by R.D., age 38

Testimonial by R.D., age 38

"I had a severe tear during childbirth that was not stitched together correctly and therefore healed poorly. Even after having a surgery a year later to remove the scar tissue, I was still having pain, and no one could explain why -- there was no overt 'reason' to explain the pain. I had tried other 'specialists' and even saw another physical therapist who had me do hip / leg stretches -- what a joke! I was about to give up and just 'live with it' until thankfully I kept searching online and found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by R.D., age 38

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