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ways to make first time sex less painful
Photo by reproductive health supplies coalition on unsplash
Her Campus journalist Sammi Burke penned this recent article about ways to make first time sex less painful, and I was more than happy to help out. Here is a brief synopsis of the article, along with a link to the full article below.

Heather Jeffcoat, DPT

Looking For Ways to Make First Time Sex Less Painful? Read On.

Having sex for the first time, particularly penetrative sex, can be a huge deal, especially for young women living in a world where the value of our virginity has been driven into our brains from a young age. Sex can be awkward, messy, and even painful for some, leading to anxiety before and while it happens. Sex is a learning process, so whether you’re preparing to lose your virginity (or have sex with a new partner for the first time), try listening to sex-positive podcasts or following sex-positive TikTokers to get more comfortable with the idea. Either way at least a little discomfort is inevitable, but pain should not be on the agenda (unless you like it like that), so it’s important to know how to reduce pain during first-time penetration.

First-time penetrative sex does not have to be painful,” Suzannah Weiss, certified sexologist, sex educator, and sex/love coach, tells Her Campus. The idea that it does is just another patriarchial lie stemming from the days when women were considered the property of their husband, and their virginity considered proof of his ownership. The hymen, which Weiss says is also known as the vaginal corona, is not the same in every person born with one. “Some are born without one, some have hymenal tissue even after they’ve had sex, and some people’s hymens stretch or tear before they ever have sex,” she says. “It’s not a firm barrier, but a stretchable ring of tissue that covers the vagina only partially. So, the idea that someone needs to ‘pop your cherry’ before you experience penetration is outdated and wrong. Nothing needs to tear, break, or bleed. If you have hymenal tissue, it can be gently stretched to accommodate something inside it.”

So, how can you properly prepare to sleep with your new partner, and reduce the amount of pain you feel? From masturbating on your own to learn what you like, proper lubrication, relaxing aromatherapy, making sure you’re on the same page as your partner, considering proactive painkillers, and more, here are nine tips for making sure you have a more pleasurable experience during your first time.

7. And Then Use Some More Lube.

Some women may naturally produce enough lubricant that you don’t need to add more, but Smith reminds those that need more not to be embarrassed by the use of lube.  

Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy and owner of Femina Physical Therapy, recommends using additional lubrication the first time you have penetrative sex. Water and silicone-based lubricants are compatible with condoms, while oil-based lubricants are not.

Silicone tends to last the longest and is great if there are any issues with vaginal dryness,” she says. “Water-based lubricants that are glycerin-free are what to look for if you are prone to yeast infections.”

For the full expose on ways to make first time sex less painful, continue to the full article here.

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by S.B.

As someone who suffered the debilitating physical and emotional effects of vaginismus (as well as a complicated history of back injuries) for more than 15 years, I thought a "normal" life was just a fantasy. Then I found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by S.B.

Testimonial by R.D., age 38

"I had a severe tear during childbirth that was not stitched together correctly and therefore healed poorly. Even after having a surgery a year later to remove the scar tissue, I was still having pain, and no one could explain why -- there was no overt 'reason' to explain the pain. I had tried other 'specialists' and even saw another physical therapist who had me do hip / leg stretches -- what a joke! I was about to give up and just 'live with it' until thankfully I kept searching online and found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by R.D., age 38

Testimonial by Mary L.

I started seeing Heather to treat my Interstitial Cystitis in November 2016. At this time, I was extremely miserable, in constant pain, and felt as though no one was listening or understood what was going on with my body. I have just finished my last appointment and I can honestly say that my life has completely changed for the better because of Heather and her team of PTs! I live almost completely pain free, and when I do have flare ups, I am able to treat them at home on my own. I am so grateful that this office was recommended to me a honestly cannot recommend them enough!

Read more: Testimonial by Mary L.

Testimonial by R.H.

No one could tell me why I was having pain during sex--sharp pain, not just uncomfortable, pain. I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat after researching several different options. I had seen a specialist who told me physical therapy would not help and my only option was surgery. I really didn't want to go that route, so when we got a referral, I decided to try it--it can't hurt, I thought. I am so glad I did. She diagnosed the problem right away, which was a relief in itself.

To know why I was having pain eased my mind immensely. And to hear that she could fix it without surgery was another relief. She said she could fix the problem in 6 weeks. I think it was actually 4 for me. She was very methodical, and treated me as an intelligent human being capable of participating in my own recovery. I would absolutely recommend her to anyone. She did not try to prolong my session numbers, she worked hard to accommodate my schedule (and the fact that I had to bring a baby to sessions), and she was completely honest the entire time. It is so hard to find someone with these characteristics, much less a professional who is so good at what she does. She has my highest respect.

-- R.H.

Testimonial by S.H., age 24

I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me for the past 19 months. I literally could not have reached my goals without you and your practice. You gave me the courage to keep moving forth with my treatment no matter how afraid and anxious I was. You were always there to answer questions and made this whole process so much easier than I expected it to be.

It's because of you that my marriage is on the right track, that I can get pregnant and that this part of my life is finally over. I really feel that Fusion Wellness is a team of people you can call family and are there to root for you and cheer you on until you reach your goals. There is nothing better than knowing I accomplished this with you guys by my side and as calmly and patiently as I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there and helping me reach my goals.

S.H., age 24

Testimonial by S.P., Age 26

I would like to start off by thanking Heather Jeffcoat for educating me and curing me of Vaginismus. I had been married for almost three years before I was referred to Heather. I never knew about Vaginismus until almost three years into my marriage. I knew something was wrong when I went on my honeymoon and came back a Virgin. I had always imagined how magical my first night would be but boy was I wrong.

Read more: Testimonial by S.P., Age 26

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