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Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide To The Sex Life You Deserve was written by Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, a physical therapist with countless successes in treating pain of this type. Women with vaginismus, overactive pelvic floor, painful intercourse, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, vestibulodynia, dyspareunia, interstitial cystitis have all benefited from her unique program. Heather uses her orthopaedic background to approach treatment of these muscles like they are....muscles! She utilizes a self-treatment tool called a dilator to provide massage and other muscle relaxation and stretching techniques in a gentle fashion to return a women's muscles back to a resting, rather than guarded, state.

Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide To The Sex Life You Deserve

What Others are Saying About "Sex Without Pain ":

I have seen Heather's treatment program work time and time again with my patients. Her unique approach to treating women with painful intercourse through a combination of hands on skills, patient education and the thorough home program outlined in this book has surpassed the results of her peers. Her techniques and expertise have been an invaluable resource to my practice."

- Kerri Parks, MD (Associate Professor Ob/Gyn USC Keck School of Medicine)


I will use it frequently for clients who cannot afford pelvic floor PT or for those who cannot find pelvic floor PT any where near them! I have so needed this resource. The clarity of each step and the drawings are so helpful - I don't know of any other resource that will be as effective for self-help."

- Joyce Penner, RN, MN (Sexual Therapist, Educator and Co-author of The Gift of Sex, Restoring the Pleasure and numerous other publications)


Sex Without Pain is an essential book for any woman suffering with pelvic or sexual pain. Heather's approach is simple and clear. She empowers the woman and her partner with the resources needed to lead a healthy and pain free sex life. A great read for patients and professionals alike."

- Jennifer Briggs, DPT (Women's Health Physical Therapist, Pennsylvania)


• To order "Sex Without Pain" in paperback from Amazon for $24.99, click here.

• To order an electronic read-only non-printable PDF copy of the book for instant download at $19.99, use the button below:

• To schedule an appointment at one of the Femina PT offices, click here.

• For a list of other trusted health care providers, click here.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Pelvic pain during the postpartum period is common, even for those who had a “perfect and easy” pregnancy, labor and delivery. Often times, healthcare providers will tell women that the pain “will get better with time,” however it's important to advocate for yourself and seek out care if you feel like you need it. Read my previous article about advocating for your postpartum care here.

Common types of postpartum pelvic pain and what you can do at home:

Vaginal Dryness

After delivery, your estrogen levels drop and progesterone levels stay high, especially if your are breastfeeding.

What you can do:

A simple solution can be drinking more water and using a water-based lubricant, read my previous blog on choosing the right lubricant for you.

Muscle and skin pain

General muscle pain in and around the pelvic floor, back, and hips is expected after delivery, as is skin pain around the genitals and perineum, especially if you tore or had an episiotomy during the delivery.

What you can do:

  • Apply ice packs at the perineum to reduce pain and swelling.
  • Perform Kegel exercises to increase local circulation and promote healing.
  • Keep the area clean with a perineal irrigation bottle and sitz baths to reduce infection risk and help tissue healing.
  • Sit on a doughnut cushion to relieve pressure on the perineum.
  • Keep bowel movements soft to reduce stress on the pelvic floor and any torn tissues with stitches.

Pubic Pain

Sometimes the pubic symphysis joint can be separated or sprained during delivery. When this injury happens, pain can be felt in the pubic bone, sacroiliac (SI) joints, glutes or thighs. You might have difficulty and pain with turning in bed, transitioning from a seated to standing position, getting in and out of a car, or with weight-bearing activities.

What you can do:

  • Contact a pelvic floor therapist
    Oftentimes, those with pubic symphysis pain may require advanced manual techniques to restore normal alignment, reduce muscle spasm, and perform stabilization exercises that will strengthen the area without causing further pain. Getting a referral for an evaluation from a pelvic floor therapist will help guide you get the care you need and the guidance you'll need through this process.
  • Modify Activities
    Avoid positions that make your pain worse. If certain activities cause pain, for example, standing on one leg while slipping a shoe strap over your heel, sit down instead.
  • Keep legs together when rolling over in bed or getting out of the car, imagine you are wearing a tight mini-skirt. Try getting into bed "on all fours" and then lying on your side, rather than sitting in bed and lifting her legs up. Avoid positions with legs separated very wide: deep squat, child’s pose, butterfly stretch.
  • Pillow between the legs when you sleep on your side at night. Gently squeeze the pillow when you roll in bed.
  • Wear a support belt
    Get a compression belt or maternity support to help stabilize your pelvis. We like the Serola belt and sell them at Femina PT. Wear the belt when up and about, especially with exercise and household chores.
  • Gentle Exercise
    Cut out high impact exercise when experiencing pain. Instead, try walking, swimming, and gentle yoga.

Tailbone pain (coccydynia)

With tailbone pain, pelvic pain is mostly felt when sitting.

What you can do:

  • Sit with proper posture on the “sitting bones” rather than slouching onto the tailbone.
  • Sitting on a wedge cushion with a tailbone cutout can help reduce pressure on the area
  • Contact a pelvic floor therapist. Pelvic floor muscle spasm is a primary cause of tailbone pain and you may need manual therapy from a trained pelvic floor therapist to help calm the muscles of this area.

Vaginal scar pain

Scars from tearing or episiotomies can stay tender and sensitive for quite some time. The pain can prevent one’s ability to insert tampons, tolerate gynecological exams, or have penetrative sex.

What you can do:

Perform perineal massage the scar site and the perineum with your fingers or a vibrator. Use plenty of lubricant (water based lubricant, or a body-safe oil like organic coconut oil). Contact a pelvic floor therapist, a midwife, or a doula if you need help!

Nerve Injury or Entrapment

In rare cases postpartum pelvic pain can be due to nerve injury or entrapment from delivery, causing pain or incontinence.

What you can do:

Make sure you attend all your postpartum visits with your medical practitioners and also watch your own symptoms of pain and incontinence. If you feel like things are not improving, bring it up to your healthcare team.

When in doubt, pelvic floor therapy!

Pelvic floor therapists are trained to evaluate and treat pelvic pain before, during and after pregnancy. A good pelvic floor therapist will teach you all the skills they know including scar desensitization and mobilization techniques, ways to lengthen and strengthen pelvic floor muscles, and safe exercises to regain your strength. Give Femina PT a call today and schedule an appointment.

References:

ACOG, 2005. Your pregnancy and birth. Washington, DC: Meredith Books.

Al Hakim M,. Katirji B. 1994. Femoral mononeuropathy induced by the lithotomy position: a report of five cases with a review of literature. Muscle Nerve 17:4 466.

Babayev M., Bodack M.P., Creatura C. 1998. Common peroneal neuropathy secondary to squatting during childbirth. Obstet Gynecol 91:5 830-832.

Haslam, J., Laycock, J. Therapeutic management of Incontinence and Pelvic Pain.
Therapeutic Management of Incontinence and Pelvic Pain. 2nd edition. Halsam and Laycock.

Ley L., Ikhouane M., et al. 2007. Neurological complication after the “tailor posture” during labour with epidural analgesia. J Gynecol Obstet Biol Reprod 36:5 496-499.

Massey E.W., Cefalo R.C. 1979. Neuropathies of Pregnancy. Obstet Gynecol Surv. 34:7 489-492.

Ronchetti I., Vleeming A., et al. 2008. Physical characteristics of women with severe pelvic girdle pain after pregnancy: a descriptive cohort study. Spine 33:5 145-151.

Snow R.E., Neubert A.G. 1997. Peripartum pubic symphysis separation: a case series and review of the literature. Obstet Gynecol Surv 52:7 438-443.

Stephenson, R., O’Connor, L. 2000. Obstetric and Gynecologic Care in Physical Therapy. New Jersey: Slack, Inc.

Tetzschner T., Sorensen M., et al. 1995. Pudendal nerve damage increases the risk of fecal incontinence in women with anal sphincter rupture after childbirth. Acta Obstet Gynecol Scand 74:6 434-440.

Tetzschner T., Sorensen M., et al. 1997. Delivery and pudendal nerve function. Acta Obstet Gynecol Scand 76:4 324-331.

Wong C.A., Scavone B.M., et al. 2003. Incidence of postpartum lumbosacral spine and lower extremity nerve injuries. Obstet Gynecol 101:2 279-288.

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by Carolina J.

I had tried Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy before (with another PT) and I had a really bad (painful) experience. A friend of mine and fellow patient, told me about Heather, Laureen and Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) and I decided to try again. I am so happy I did! Femina PT have, literally, changed my life. I was able to do again things I couldn't do for over 10 years!! Their bedside manners are impeccable, their knowledge and understanding make me feel comfortable to recommend this place to anyone in pain. Specially if you have Endometriosis. 100% recommended!!

-- Carolina J., 12/28/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

I can’t speak highly enough of the theapists at Femina Physical Therapy and how much they have helped me grow, discover, and love my body. I had had painful sex for my entire life, and didn’t know that there was anything that could be done about it. It was at the point where my husband and I were not having sex for MONTHs, because it was just too frustrating, and I hated feeling like I was the ONLY woman out there who had this problem, especially at my age. I finally brought it up to my doctor because I was turning 40 and my husband and I were barely having enough sex to conceive. And she brought up pelvic floor, PT. I didn’t even know this was a “thing”.

Read more: Testimonial by R.M., Age 40

Testimonial by J.B.

My husband and I were having problems with painful intercourse. My therapist recommended that I go and get a pelvic floor evaluation from a physical therapist. Having never been treated by a physical therapist, I wondered how this really was going to help me. My husband who is a physician was very supportive and agreed that a PT evaluation would be a great idea. So i made the appointment and was blown away by what I learned. I had no idea that pelvic floor muscles could get tight and have trigger points just like any other muscle in the body. I'm a massage therapist and very familiar with tight muscles, and this new thought really amazed me. Heather's program to help relax and strengthen these muscles made such a difference. I can say that I am 100% pain free during intercourse now. Yippee! Going to the PT appointments and doing the at-home exercises was definitely a discipline, but it's 100% worth it! The rewards are amazing.

-- J.B.

Testimonial by M.N., age 28

A personal journey and testimonial from one of my patients:

I was diagnosed with vaginismus 4 years ago. I never heard of such medical condition until after I got married. At first my husband and I didn't know what to do, we didn't know what the issues were or how to overcome it. Being born and raised in Armenia and being Christian I wasn't that open about talking to sex with others and so it wasn't easy to seek help. But eventually I went to an Ob-Gyn and luckily she knew about the medical condition (not many doctors know). She referred me to a physical therapist and I couldn't believe it and thought it's something I can handle myself. I ordered a kit from vaginismus.com and started practicing with dilators. There was some small progress but wasn't much helpful.

Read more: Testimonial by M.N., age 28

Testimonial by J.H.

My last appointment with Heather was over 6 years ago but I still think of her every day. I don’t take for granted that I can easily get out of bed, care for my two active and busy young boys, run, play tennis, clean my house, or sit at a desk for several hours at a time. None of these tasks were easy for me before meeting Heather. Eight years ago my car was struck from behind by a tractor trailer that was estimated to have been speeding. I spent 3 years working with different PTs and Drs trying to heal and move on with my life. When I became pregnant and the hormone relaxin that “relaxes” all the joints of the body and the additional weight gain erased all my progress and I was suddenly in a lot of pain again. My OB sent me to Heather for one last try.

Read more: Testimonial by J.H.

Testimonial by T.C.

While pregnant with my twins, Heather took care with keeping me on my feet and pain free. She saved my back, my sanity and the holidays! I would recommend her to every “mom” looking to stay on her feet during pregnancy and post-partum.

-- T.C.

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