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Heather Jeffcoat at O.School
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What is a Ruined Orgasm?

Learn the difference between an intentional vs. unintentional ruined orgasm and what it all means.

My office frequently receives calls and emails about orgasm function. "Can you help my orgasms be more intense? Can you help me if I've never had an orgasm? Does my pelvic pain affect my orgasm? I can't orgasm, I can only get aroused-can you help with this, too?"

What all our patients receive after their thorough history and physical examination is education. The clitoris is so much more than what you see peeking out of the hood. It's a large structure that extends underneath the hood and has 'legs" (medically termed "crura") that extend along the pubic ramus and bulbs that lie on either side of the vaginal opening. Understanding your own anatomy is key to figuring out what your next steps are.

Orgasm Related Problems and Solutions

Anorgasmia and Dysorgasmia are clinical terms whose symptoms include complete lack of orgasm, diminished orgasms, and even painful orgasms. Causes can include physical, mental, and emotional factors.

Dysorgasmia / Painful Orgasms

Dysorgasmia is defined as a painful orgasm, but without any prior pain during sexual intercourse. The pain often manifests as a cramping sensation in the pelvis, buttock(s) or abdomen. The duration of pain can last from seconds to minutes to several hours.

Read here for more information on anorgasmia and dysorgasmia.

From the article: Though a ruined orgasm might sound like it has a simple definition — an orgasm that is ruined or halts before full climax – it can have multiple meanings. Some ruined orgasms are intentional, while others are not and can leave one feeling sexually frustrated. Those that are unintentional can also have multiple causes, both physical and emotional, which vary from person to person.

To get to the bottom of what is a ruined orgasm, the difference between an intentional and unintentional ruined orgasm, and how to stop having unintentional ruined orgasms, we reached out to healthcare providers and experts to get professional advice on everything to do with ruined orgasms.

Physical causes of an unintentional ruined orgasm:

Dr. Jeffcoat tells O.school that those who experience pain during sex often deal with ruined orgasms. They may often be dismissed by medical providers with statements such as “It’s all in your head,” or “It’s a normal part of aging.” However, Dr. Jeffcoat states that a ruined orgasm can be caused by the following physical conditions:

  • Vaginismus (involves muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles)
  • Vulvodynia (chronic, unidentified vulvar pain)
  • Vestibulodynia (chronic, unidentified pain in the vestibule area of the vulva
  • Endometriosis (a painful disorder caused by tissue that lines the uterus growing outside of the uterus)
  • Interstitial cystitis (a chronic, painful bladder condition, now called painful bladder syndrome.
  • Dysorgasmia (painful orgasms)
  • Dyspareunia (painful intercourse)
  • Postcoital pain
  • Nerve entrapment (in more severe cases)

If you are still curious to learn more about ruined orgasm, continue to the full article here.

Call or write to us with your own questions or comments, we would love to hear from you and we are here to help!

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by S.B.

As someone who suffered the debilitating physical and emotional effects of vaginismus (as well as a complicated history of back injuries) for more than 15 years, I thought a "normal" life was just a fantasy. Then I found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by S.B.

Testimonial by A.W., age 32

I wanted to let you know that my pelvic floor held strong and gave me no trouble whatsoever in my trail race this morning (12 miles)! In a way, I felt like I ran better than ever because my core feels so rock solid from all the exercises you have me doing. That was especially valuable on the technical downhill - I just flew down the trail because I had confidence in my balance and form. Thank you for helping me get back to doing what I love.

-- A.W., age 32
(completed Post-partum Renewal Program using the InTone biofeedback/stim unit)

Testimonial by A.M.

Months after giving birth, it was difficult for me to go from a sitting or lying position up to a full standing position without feeling that I had to remain hunched over until a bit of time had passed to get fully upright. However, after taking Heather’s course, I learned exercises to get my body back to normal. She also showed me correct ways to lift and carry my son as well as put him in/take him out of the carseat and stroller. This class was really beneficial and Heather is a wonderful teacher who made me feel very comfortable.

-- A.M.

Testimonial by S.H., age 24

I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me for the past 19 months. I literally could not have reached my goals without you and your practice. You gave me the courage to keep moving forth with my treatment no matter how afraid and anxious I was. You were always there to answer questions and made this whole process so much easier than I expected it to be.

It's because of you that my marriage is on the right track, that I can get pregnant and that this part of my life is finally over. I really feel that Fusion Wellness is a team of people you can call family and are there to root for you and cheer you on until you reach your goals. There is nothing better than knowing I accomplished this with you guys by my side and as calmly and patiently as I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for always being there and helping me reach my goals.

S.H., age 24

Testimonial by J.B.

My husband and I were having problems with painful intercourse. My therapist recommended that I go and get a pelvic floor evaluation from a physical therapist. Having never been treated by a physical therapist, I wondered how this really was going to help me. My husband who is a physician was very supportive and agreed that a PT evaluation would be a great idea. So i made the appointment and was blown away by what I learned. I had no idea that pelvic floor muscles could get tight and have trigger points just like any other muscle in the body. I'm a massage therapist and very familiar with tight muscles, and this new thought really amazed me. Heather's program to help relax and strengthen these muscles made such a difference. I can say that I am 100% pain free during intercourse now. Yippee! Going to the PT appointments and doing the at-home exercises was definitely a discipline, but it's 100% worth it! The rewards are amazing.

-- J.B.

Testimonial by Lauren B.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has been such an answer to prayer, i'm so glad I found them! I've been struggling with vaginismus my whole life, but didn't have a name for it until about 6 or 7 months ago. Even once I did have a name for it though, I didn't know where to begin in getting help. My OB/GYN had me get a set of dilators, but I couldn't even insert the smallest one by myself. Most times I tried I just ended up frustrated and in tears. I felt really alone, like I was broken and didn't have the energy to keep trying. When I got engaged a few months ago though, I realized I needed to get answers so i wasn't dreading my honeymoon.

Read more: Testimonial by Lauren B.

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