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Studies have shown that mindfulness can improve your sex life by increasing arousal, reducing sexual pain, lowering judgement, improving relationship satisfaction, and improving self esteem. Those of you who have had sessions with me in the clinic have most definitely practiced some forms of mindfulneses meditation with me, as it helps one increase connection between the brain and body, reduce anxiety, and downregulate the nervous system.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness can be defined as an open or a receptive attention to and awareness of what is taking place, both internally and externally, in the present moment (Barnes et al., 2007).
Sex and Mindfulness: More Similar Than You Think
Sex and mindfulness meditation are both practices in which you are encouraged to break away from daily activities, connect with the body, and with the present moment. Clearing the mind of anxieties, worries, and to-do lists is also recommended for both these activities.
How Mindfulness Improves Your Sex Life
Improved Sexual Satisfaction
A 2019 study by Leavitt et al., found that cultivating a mindfulness during sex and sexual situations has a positive effect on sexual wellbeing, satisfaction within the relationship, and improved self-esteem.
Improved Arousal Levels, Less Pain with Sex and Better Sexual Function
In 2012 Brotto et al. found that women who participated mindfulness classes and who started a meditation practice at home reported greater sexual desire, arousal, and lubrication, easier orgasms, and greater sexual satisfaction. The participants went to three 90 minute classes within a span of six months that discussed the causes of low libido and offered instruction in mindfulness meditation. Between classes the women practiced mindfulness meditation daily.
A study by Rosenbaum et al. (2013) also showed that mindfulness meditation helped women recover from sexual pain (vaginismus and dyspareunia) and pelvic floor dysfunction when mindfulness was incorporated into their pelvic floor therapy sessions and when mindfulness strategies were used when using their dilators at home.
Bossio et al. (2018) found that men with erection difficulties reported significant improvement in sexual function after attending a four week intervention program that included education about erectile dysfunction (ED), psychological counseling, and instruction in mindfulness meditation. The men also practiced mindfulness meditation daily on their own.
Mindfulness Meditation For Beginners
Use Deep Breathing to Gain Body Awareness
This 5 Minute Mindfulness Meditation is led by Tara Brach, a renowned meditation teacher and psychologist who is based out of Washington, DC.
Download a Meditation App
Insight Timer
Insight timer is a free app/website with an archive of guided meditations, longer talks teachings, sound healings, and other offerings.
Headspace
Headspace is a paid subscription app/service which provides guided meditation instruction. There is currently some free offerings on their website to deal with stress and overwhelm connected to COVID-19.
Get Connected with a Local Meditation Group
Insight LA
Insight LA is a meditation center based in Los Angeles, which is now offering classes and group guided meditations online via teleconference platforms.
Resources
Leavitt, C. E., Lefkowitz, E. S., & Waterman, E. A. (2019). The Role of Sexual Mindfulness in Sexual Wellbeing, Relational Wellbeing, and Self-Esteem. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 1–12. doi:10.1080/0092623x.2019.1572680
Bossio, J.A. et al. “Mindfulness-Based Group Therapy for Men with Situational Erectile Dysfunction: A Mixed-Methods Feasibility Analysis and Pilot Study,” Journal of Sexual Medicine (2018) 15:1478.
Brotto, L.A. et al. “Pilot Study of a Brief Cognitive Behavioral Versus Mindfulness-Based Intervention for Women with Sexual Distress and a History of Childhood Sexual Abuse,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (2012) 38:1.
Brotto, L.A. et al. “Pilot Study of a Brief Cognitive Behavioral Versus Mindfulness-Based Intervention for Women with Sexual Distress and a History of Childhood Sexual Abuse,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy (2012) 38:1.
Atkinson BJ (2013). Mindfulness training and the cultivation of secure, satisfying couple relationships. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 2(2), 73–94. doi:10.1037/cfp0000002 [CrossRef] [Google Scholar]
Rosenbaum TY (2013). An integrated mindfulness-based approach to the treatment of women with sexual pain and anxiety: Promoting autonomy and mind/body connection. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 28(1–2), 20–28. doi:10.1080/14681994.2013.764981 [CrossRef] [Google Scholar] [Ref list]
Barnes S, Brown KW, Krusemark E, Campbell WK, & Rogge RD (2007). The role of mindfulness in romantic relationship satisfaction and responses to relationship stress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33(4), 482–500. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2007.00033.x [PubMed] [CrossRef] [Google Scholar]
