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Heather Jeffcoat at O.School
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What is a Ruined Orgasm?

Learn the difference between an intentional vs. unintentional ruined orgasm and what it all means.

My office frequently receives calls and emails about orgasm function. "Can you help my orgasms be more intense? Can you help me if I've never had an orgasm? Does my pelvic pain affect my orgasm? I can't orgasm, I can only get aroused-can you help with this, too?"

What all our patients receive after their thorough history and physical examination is education. The clitoris is so much more than what you see peeking out of the hood. It's a large structure that extends underneath the hood and has 'legs" (medically termed "crura") that extend along the pubic ramus and bulbs that lie on either side of the vaginal opening. Understanding your own anatomy is key to figuring out what your next steps are.

Orgasm Related Problems and Solutions

Anorgasmia and Dysorgasmia are clinical terms whose symptoms include complete lack of orgasm, diminished orgasms, and even painful orgasms. Causes can include physical, mental, and emotional factors.

Dysorgasmia / Painful Orgasms

Dysorgasmia is defined as a painful orgasm, but without any prior pain during sexual intercourse. The pain often manifests as a cramping sensation in the pelvis, buttock(s) or abdomen. The duration of pain can last from seconds to minutes to several hours.

Read here for more information on anorgasmia and dysorgasmia.

From the article: Though a ruined orgasm might sound like it has a simple definition — an orgasm that is ruined or halts before full climax – it can have multiple meanings. Some ruined orgasms are intentional, while others are not and can leave one feeling sexually frustrated. Those that are unintentional can also have multiple causes, both physical and emotional, which vary from person to person.

To get to the bottom of what is a ruined orgasm, the difference between an intentional and unintentional ruined orgasm, and how to stop having unintentional ruined orgasms, we reached out to healthcare providers and experts to get professional advice on everything to do with ruined orgasms.

Physical causes of an unintentional ruined orgasm:

Dr. Jeffcoat tells O.school that those who experience pain during sex often deal with ruined orgasms. They may often be dismissed by medical providers with statements such as “It’s all in your head,” or “It’s a normal part of aging.” However, Dr. Jeffcoat states that a ruined orgasm can be caused by the following physical conditions:

  • Vaginismus (involves muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles)
  • Vulvodynia (chronic, unidentified vulvar pain)
  • Vestibulodynia (chronic, unidentified pain in the vestibule area of the vulva
  • Endometriosis (a painful disorder caused by tissue that lines the uterus growing outside of the uterus)
  • Interstitial cystitis (a chronic, painful bladder condition, now called painful bladder syndrome.
  • Dysorgasmia (painful orgasms)
  • Dyspareunia (painful intercourse)
  • Postcoital pain
  • Nerve entrapment (in more severe cases)

If you are still curious to learn more about ruined orgasm, continue to the full article here.

Call or write to us with your own questions or comments, we would love to hear from you and we are here to help!

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by Fritzette H.

I went to Heather after the birth of my third child. It was lucky, really, that I was referred to her, because my doctor had referred me to a surgeon for a possible hysterectomy or pelvic wall rebuild. Thankfully, I went to Heather before undergoing either surgery, she was able to fix the problem. She has studied extensively in women's health--even written a book about it--and was able to diagnose my problem, suggest a course of treatment (6 weeks), and then follow through with said treatment. By the end, as she said, I was as good as gold. Boy, was it worth it! Though uncomfortable to talk about, much less write about, it is worth getting the word out there. If you have painful intercourse, especially after birth or other trauma, the treatment may be as simple as Physical Therapy (with Heather, of course). I highly recommend her.

-- Fritzette H., 3/24/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by A.W., age 32

I wanted to let you know that my pelvic floor held strong and gave me no trouble whatsoever in my trail race this morning (12 miles)! In a way, I felt like I ran better than ever because my core feels so rock solid from all the exercises you have me doing. That was especially valuable on the technical downhill - I just flew down the trail because I had confidence in my balance and form. Thank you for helping me get back to doing what I love.

-- A.W., age 32
(completed Post-partum Renewal Program using the InTone biofeedback/stim unit)

Testimonial by A.M.

Months after giving birth, it was difficult for me to go from a sitting or lying position up to a full standing position without feeling that I had to remain hunched over until a bit of time had passed to get fully upright. However, after taking Heather’s course, I learned exercises to get my body back to normal. She also showed me correct ways to lift and carry my son as well as put him in/take him out of the carseat and stroller. This class was really beneficial and Heather is a wonderful teacher who made me feel very comfortable.

-- A.M.

Testimonial by Amanda W.

Heather's unique physical therapy program literally changed my life! After years of struggling with vaginismus, a condition that made it impossible for me to have intercourse and very difficult to use tampons without pain, a gynecologist referred me to Heather. I was nervous for my first appointment, but Heather's professional and friendly demeanor put me at ease. She did a great job explaining each technique she was using to help my muscles relax. Heather uses a combination of internal and external stretches and exercises to relax the pelvic floor and build muscle strength. Her specially developed home program helped me quickly recover from an issue that seemed insurmountable before meeting Heather. She was optimistic about my progress and incredibly encouraging. Less than 6 months after my first session, I was able to have pain-free sex for the first time in my life! If you are suffering from vaginismus or any other pelvic floor issues, I highly recommend making an appointment with Heather and reading her book!

-- Amanda W., 2/15/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Jamie M.

I have been going to see Heather for a while now, and I can't tell you enough how much she has improved my quality of life. Heather specializes in issues like pelvic floor, but I see her for other orthopedic issues.

I have a lot of chronic joint pain and dysfunction issues (back, hips, neck) that require that have ongoing physical therapy maintenance. The effects of my problem joints/areas overlap and interconnect with each other in complex ways, so helping me requires really having a complete understanding of the entire skeletal and muscular system. Pain does not always appear where the problem actually is, the human body is a twisty, many-layered puzzle. I have an exercise program I do at home and I am very functional, but there are just something things I need a PT to help me out with.

Read more: Testimonial by Jamie M.

Testimonial by M.M.

My husband and I were married for 5 years and unable to have intercourse, but I never knew why. After numerous awful experiences at doctor’s offices (where many doctors told me I “just needed to relax”), a surgery that didn’t fix the problem, and a year of owning dilators that didn’t get me anywhere, someone finally referred me to Heather for Physical Therapy. I finally had answers and information from someone who knew exactly what I was dealing with!

Read more: Testimonial by M.M.

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