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right type of lube

Looking for the right type of lube for whichever kind of sex you're having?

Joseph Lamour writing for Mic.com reached out to me for my input on the right type of lube for various types of sex, and I was glad to offer my advice. Here is a brief synopsis of the article, along with a link to the full article below.

Heather Jeffcoat, DPT

I believe it was Colin Powell who said, “Trust is the glue that holds people together, and is the lubricant that keeps an organization moving forward.” I’m certain he was not talking about the gooey stuff you get in the unmentionables aisle in your local drugstore. But I still think the impassioned statement works when we’re talking about sex — which also holds people together, if you will, moving forward toward a goal. Lube really does keep us moving forward, and it’s a super underrated bedroom accoutrement, mostly because people aren’t aware of its versatility.


Just what is the right type of lube?

Any lubricant — natural or not — has the potential to irritate your tissue, so always apply a few drops on your forearm to make sure there is no immediate sensitivity,"

says Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy that specializes in treating women, men, and non-binary folks with painful sex. She talks about the right type of lube every day with patients, and she even wrote a book on achieving pleasurable sex for those who find it more challenging — so she truly knows her stuff.

If you do have trouble getting wet for any reason, or your vaginal lubrication doesn’t last very long, Jeffcoat also suggests a thick, gel-like water-based lubricant like Slippery Stuff or Uber Lube.

Anal Sex

Everyone has a butt. Thus, everyone has the capability to partake in a bit of peach entry from time to time (or all the time, if you’re lucky). “Any lubricant that be used vaginally should be able to be used with anal sexual activity as well, and without the concern for a certain pH,” Eilber says, adding that it’s important to remember that the anal canal does not produce natural lubricant, so frequent reapplication may be necessary.

Of the many experts I spoke to, all suggested the same thing: a silicone-based lube — and I concur. “Lubrication for anal penetration needs to be longer lasting since it doesn’t lubricate like vaginal tissue. Pjur’s Back Door, which is silicone-based, works well for this,” she tells me.

It’s also important to note that certain kinds of toys warrant the right type of lube — silicone lubes should not be used with silicone toys, Eilber tells me. A suggestion for people who are using their fingers, thicker is also the way to go.

Using a thicker gel for digital play is nice, so you can get the lubricant where you want it. Lubricants that are too liquid tend to go everywhere you don’t want it to,” Jeffcoat says.

If you are still curious about the right type of lube for the sex you are having, continue to the full article here.

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Testimonial by Lauren B.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has been such an answer to prayer, i'm so glad I found them! I've been struggling with vaginismus my whole life, but didn't have a name for it until about 6 or 7 months ago. Even once I did have a name for it though, I didn't know where to begin in getting help. My OB/GYN had me get a set of dilators, but I couldn't even insert the smallest one by myself. Most times I tried I just ended up frustrated and in tears. I felt really alone, like I was broken and didn't have the energy to keep trying. When I got engaged a few months ago though, I realized I needed to get answers so i wasn't dreading my honeymoon.

Read more: Testimonial by Lauren B.

Testimonial by Amanda W.

Heather's unique physical therapy program literally changed my life! After years of struggling with vaginismus, a condition that made it impossible for me to have intercourse and very difficult to use tampons without pain, a gynecologist referred me to Heather. I was nervous for my first appointment, but Heather's professional and friendly demeanor put me at ease. She did a great job explaining each technique she was using to help my muscles relax. Heather uses a combination of internal and external stretches and exercises to relax the pelvic floor and build muscle strength. Her specially developed home program helped me quickly recover from an issue that seemed insurmountable before meeting Heather. She was optimistic about my progress and incredibly encouraging. Less than 6 months after my first session, I was able to have pain-free sex for the first time in my life! If you are suffering from vaginismus or any other pelvic floor issues, I highly recommend making an appointment with Heather and reading her book!

-- Amanda W., 2/15/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by P.M.

I was hopeful but frankly skeptical when the doctor treating me for Interstitial Cystitis recommended that I go to Heather for physical therapy. Medication and diet helped control my IC symptoms, but I had never heard of physical therapy being used to treat IC. The education and treatment I received from Heather was a revelation. She explained that the pain I experienced with IC had helped create a cycle of muscle guarding which affected the entire pelvic area. I had no idea of the amount of tension being held there. No wonder my husband and I had not been able to have sexual intercourse for years!

Read more: Testimonial by P.M.

Testimonial by R.S.

I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

-- R.S.

Testimonial by A.W., age 32

I wanted to let you know that my pelvic floor held strong and gave me no trouble whatsoever in my trail race this morning (12 miles)! In a way, I felt like I ran better than ever because my core feels so rock solid from all the exercises you have me doing. That was especially valuable on the technical downhill - I just flew down the trail because I had confidence in my balance and form. Thank you for helping me get back to doing what I love.

-- A.W., age 32
(completed Post-partum Renewal Program using the InTone biofeedback/stim unit)

Testimonial by R.H.

No one could tell me why I was having pain during sex--sharp pain, not just uncomfortable, pain. I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat after researching several different options. I had seen a specialist who told me physical therapy would not help and my only option was surgery. I really didn't want to go that route, so when we got a referral, I decided to try it--it can't hurt, I thought. I am so glad I did. She diagnosed the problem right away, which was a relief in itself.

To know why I was having pain eased my mind immensely. And to hear that she could fix it without surgery was another relief. She said she could fix the problem in 6 weeks. I think it was actually 4 for me. She was very methodical, and treated me as an intelligent human being capable of participating in my own recovery. I would absolutely recommend her to anyone. She did not try to prolong my session numbers, she worked hard to accommodate my schedule (and the fact that I had to bring a baby to sessions), and she was completely honest the entire time. It is so hard to find someone with these characteristics, much less a professional who is so good at what she does. She has my highest respect.

-- R.H.

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