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Heather Jeffcoat in Cosmo
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Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night
Image Courtesy of @LUCYMACARONI
at Cosmo reached out to me for some advice for readers of her article "11 Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night" - in particular about what to do if you experience pain during this special time. Here is a brief synopsis of the article, along with a link to the full article below.

Heather Jeffcoat, DPT

Cosmo Talks Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night

Tips on dealing with painful sex are that much more important on this night!

Whether it's your first time together or your thousandth time, sex on your wedding night can be fraught with anxiety. As Jill says, there are any number of ways to remove the pressure from the situation and enjoy it to its fullest.

Plus, it's important to remember the reality and context of the whole situation. “Lots of us spend just as much time fantasizing about our wedding night as the actual ceremony itself. But by the time you’ve walked down the aisle, cut the cake, and danced for six hours, you just might be exhausted,” says Sarah Riccio, queer sex educator and co-founder Delicto.com. “So what do you do if you’re too tired to stand, let alone swing from the rafters of your marital bed?” Well, start with these tips that will help no matter how your night goes.

1. Here Comes the Bride

Jill's first bit of advice is right on the money. It's applicable not only to your wedding night, but any time you're not sure if you've got enough in the tank - or just as a way to switch things up:

Having sex all night doesn’t need to mean literally doing it for like, eight hours. Before you go to sleep, get yourselves semi-close to orgasm then stop. (Too close to orgasm will just be frustrating.) Fall asleep spooning, then whenever one of you wakes up, try a few slow thrusts, a short sleepy make out session or just a possessive hand on the other person’s junk. When you wake up, you’ll be so very ready for your partner.

And for those of you who are fans of morning sex, this is pure gold (remember, 1am is technically morning time!) You may have even already discovered this technique for yourself!

6. The Plan B

woman on top during sex to mitigate the effects of vaginismus

Jill asked me "what if vaginismus interferes?":

Some women get the surprise wedding gift of discovering that they have vaginismus. “I see many folks experience excruciating pain with intercourse on their honeymoon," says Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, who works with folks who have painful sex. To help, try getting on top. “Controlling the speed of insertion and depth of penetration are key when vaginismus is suspected or it’s otherwise not going quite as planned."

Being on top is a great way to take control of the situation, and your partner may enjoy just laying back and letting you do your thing in a way that's best for you. Hopefully vaginismus won't ruin the moment, but if it does - or if you're trying to prevent it from doing so in the future - one of our trained physical therapists may be able to help.

9. The Kama Sutra

the kama sutra position

This one requires some extra support to get you in the proper position, so make sure you have lots of pillows (or better yet a special pillow to really enhance the experience).

The Kama Sutra recommends many days' worth of wooing techniques to “create confidence in the girl” before the “inauguration of lovemaking,” but if you forgot that part, you can skip to the end for the bendy position for the day of reckoning. Get on your knees and lean back onto a big stack of pillows. Your penis-having or strap-on-wearing partner is on their knees to enter, giving them easy access to your clit too.

One quick note about the above: Jill mentions getting on your knees, but the graphic shows the woman on her back. Either way works just fine!

In closing I would like to thank Jill for her excellent work on this topic. For more great tips on Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night, continue to the full article here.

Heather

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by Fritzette H.

I went to Heather after the birth of my third child. It was lucky, really, that I was referred to her, because my doctor had referred me to a surgeon for a possible hysterectomy or pelvic wall rebuild. Thankfully, I went to Heather before undergoing either surgery, she was able to fix the problem. She has studied extensively in women's health--even written a book about it--and was able to diagnose my problem, suggest a course of treatment (6 weeks), and then follow through with said treatment. By the end, as she said, I was as good as gold. Boy, was it worth it! Though uncomfortable to talk about, much less write about, it is worth getting the word out there. If you have painful intercourse, especially after birth or other trauma, the treatment may be as simple as Physical Therapy (with Heather, of course). I highly recommend her.

-- Fritzette H., 3/24/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by R.S.

I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

-- R.S.

Testimonial by Rosanna R., age 35

Heather has affected my life in the MOST POSITIVE way and I am forever grateful. My husband refers to her as the "sex doctor" so you can only imagine how happy he is with my therapy outcome.

After the birth of my son I suffered from "Vaginismus", however, at the time I just thought I was broken. My "broken vagina" affected me physically but it was an emotional struggle as well. Many women in my life also suffered with pain from sex after their babies were born so I knew I wasn't alone. They told me they "just got used to it" but I couldn't see myself living that way.

Sex wasn't just painful, it was literally impossible - IT DIDNT FIT!

Read more: Testimonial by Rosanna R.,...

Testimonial by T.H.

I started seeing Heather in October 2014. For more than two years, I had been suffering from painful urinary tract infection type symptoms after my bartholins gland surgery which included constant burning and urinary frequency sensation that led to more and more painful intercourse. I had made multiple visits to internist, obgyn and urologist's offices, went through a range of treatment with UTI and bladder frequency medication that included antibiotics, vesicare, estrogen cream, but nothing worked.

Read more: Testimonial by T.H.

Testimonial by M.N., age 28

A personal journey and testimonial from one of my patients:

I was diagnosed with vaginismus 4 years ago. I never heard of such medical condition until after I got married. At first my husband and I didn't know what to do, we didn't know what the issues were or how to overcome it. Being born and raised in Armenia and being Christian I wasn't that open about talking to sex with others and so it wasn't easy to seek help. But eventually I went to an Ob-Gyn and luckily she knew about the medical condition (not many doctors know). She referred me to a physical therapist and I couldn't believe it and thought it's something I can handle myself. I ordered a kit from vaginismus.com and started practicing with dilators. There was some small progress but wasn't much helpful.

Read more: Testimonial by M.N., age 28

Testimonial by R.S.

I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

-- R.S.

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