Heather Jeffcoat, DPT
Cosmo Talks Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night
Tips on dealing with painful sex are that much more important on this night!
Whether it's your first time together or your thousandth time, sex on your wedding night can be fraught with anxiety. As Jill says, there are any number of ways to remove the pressure from the situation and enjoy it to its fullest.
Plus, it's important to remember the reality and context of the whole situation. “Lots of us spend just as much time fantasizing about our wedding night as the actual ceremony itself. But by the time you’ve walked down the aisle, cut the cake, and danced for six hours, you just might be exhausted,” says Sarah Riccio, queer sex educator and co-founder Delicto.com. “So what do you do if you’re too tired to stand, let alone swing from the rafters of your marital bed?” Well, start with these tips that will help no matter how your night goes.
1. Here Comes the Bride
Jill's first bit of advice is right on the money. It's applicable not only to your wedding night, but any time you're not sure if you've got enough in the tank - or just as a way to switch things up:
Having sex all night doesn’t need to mean literally doing it for like, eight hours. Before you go to sleep, get yourselves semi-close to orgasm then stop. (Too close to orgasm will just be frustrating.) Fall asleep spooning, then whenever one of you wakes up, try a few slow thrusts, a short sleepy make out session or just a possessive hand on the other person’s junk. When you wake up, you’ll be so very ready for your partner.
And for those of you who are fans of morning sex, this is pure gold (remember, 1am is technically morning time!) You may have even already discovered this technique for yourself!
6. The Plan B
Jill asked me "what if vaginismus interferes?":
Some women get the surprise wedding gift of discovering that they have vaginismus. “I see many folks experience excruciating pain with intercourse on their honeymoon," says Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, who works with folks who have painful sex. To help, try getting on top. “Controlling the speed of insertion and depth of penetration are key when vaginismus is suspected or it’s otherwise not going quite as planned."
Being on top is a great way to take control of the situation, and your partner may enjoy just laying back and letting you do your thing in a way that's best for you. Hopefully vaginismus won't ruin the moment, but if it does - or if you're trying to prevent it from doing so in the future - one of our trained physical therapists may be able to help.
9. The Kama Sutra
This one requires some extra support to get you in the proper position, so make sure you have lots of pillows (or better yet a special pillow to really enhance the experience).
The Kama Sutra recommends many days' worth of wooing techniques to “create confidence in the girl” before the “inauguration of lovemaking,” but if you forgot that part, you can skip to the end for the bendy position for the day of reckoning. Get on your knees and lean back onto a big stack of pillows. Your penis-having or strap-on-wearing partner is on their knees to enter, giving them easy access to your clit too.
One quick note about the above: Jill mentions getting on your knees, but the graphic shows the woman on her back. Either way works just fine!
In closing I would like to thank Jill for her excellent work on this topic. For more great tips on Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night, continue to the full article here.