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Heather Jeffcoat in Cosmo
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Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night
Image Courtesy of @LUCYMACARONI
at Cosmo reached out to me for some advice for readers of her article "11 Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night" - in particular about what to do if you experience pain during this special time. Here is a brief synopsis of the article, along with a link to the full article below.

Heather Jeffcoat, DPT

Cosmo Talks Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night

Tips on dealing with painful sex are that much more important on this night!

Whether it's your first time together or your thousandth time, sex on your wedding night can be fraught with anxiety. As Jill says, there are any number of ways to remove the pressure from the situation and enjoy it to its fullest.

Plus, it's important to remember the reality and context of the whole situation. “Lots of us spend just as much time fantasizing about our wedding night as the actual ceremony itself. But by the time you’ve walked down the aisle, cut the cake, and danced for six hours, you just might be exhausted,” says Sarah Riccio, queer sex educator and co-founder Delicto.com. “So what do you do if you’re too tired to stand, let alone swing from the rafters of your marital bed?” Well, start with these tips that will help no matter how your night goes.

1. Here Comes the Bride

Jill's first bit of advice is right on the money. It's applicable not only to your wedding night, but any time you're not sure if you've got enough in the tank - or just as a way to switch things up:

Having sex all night doesn’t need to mean literally doing it for like, eight hours. Before you go to sleep, get yourselves semi-close to orgasm then stop. (Too close to orgasm will just be frustrating.) Fall asleep spooning, then whenever one of you wakes up, try a few slow thrusts, a short sleepy make out session or just a possessive hand on the other person’s junk. When you wake up, you’ll be so very ready for your partner.

And for those of you who are fans of morning sex, this is pure gold (remember, 1am is technically morning time!) You may have even already discovered this technique for yourself!

6. The Plan B

woman on top during sex to mitigate the effects of vaginismus

Jill asked me "what if vaginismus interferes?":

Some women get the surprise wedding gift of discovering that they have vaginismus. “I see many folks experience excruciating pain with intercourse on their honeymoon," says Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, who works with folks who have painful sex. To help, try getting on top. “Controlling the speed of insertion and depth of penetration are key when vaginismus is suspected or it’s otherwise not going quite as planned."

Being on top is a great way to take control of the situation, and your partner may enjoy just laying back and letting you do your thing in a way that's best for you. Hopefully vaginismus won't ruin the moment, but if it does - or if you're trying to prevent it from doing so in the future - one of our trained physical therapists may be able to help.

9. The Kama Sutra

the kama sutra position

This one requires some extra support to get you in the proper position, so make sure you have lots of pillows (or better yet a special pillow to really enhance the experience).

The Kama Sutra recommends many days' worth of wooing techniques to “create confidence in the girl” before the “inauguration of lovemaking,” but if you forgot that part, you can skip to the end for the bendy position for the day of reckoning. Get on your knees and lean back onto a big stack of pillows. Your penis-having or strap-on-wearing partner is on their knees to enter, giving them easy access to your clit too.

One quick note about the above: Jill mentions getting on your knees, but the graphic shows the woman on her back. Either way works just fine!

In closing I would like to thank Jill for her excellent work on this topic. For more great tips on Blissful Sex Positions for Your Wedding Night, continue to the full article here.

Heather

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by M.M.

A personal journey and testimonial from one of my patients:

My husband and I were married for 5 years before we were able to have intercourse due to my vaginismus. There was nothing traumatic in my past but for some reason, even though I wanted sex, I mentally avoided "that area" of my body and didn't even admit to myself that there was a problem for a long time, even though I was never able to put tampons in. Once I finally opened my eyes up to the fact that I had a problem, I had a surgery that was supposed to fix the issue.

Read more: Testimonial by M.M.

Testimonial by T.H.

I started seeing Heather in October 2014. For more than two years, I had been suffering from painful urinary tract infection type symptoms after my bartholins gland surgery which included constant burning and urinary frequency sensation that led to more and more painful intercourse. I had made multiple visits to internist, obgyn and urologist's offices, went through a range of treatment with UTI and bladder frequency medication that included antibiotics, vesicare, estrogen cream, but nothing worked.

Read more: Testimonial by T.H.

Testimonial by Julie T.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has honestly changed my life. Before receiving treatment at Femina, I was going doctor to doctor to try and find the answer to my pelvic pain. It has taken me YEARS to find someone that can help fix this. It wasn't until my gynecologist recommended your clinic that I finally felt relief. My pelvic pain is almost gone, and granted I still have a lot more to work on with Laureen (my PT), my original problem is nearly cured. I am so grateful to her.

What is even better is she gave me practical exercises to do at home that were not tedious and provided instant (and lasting) relief. Although I mainly work with Laureen, my interaction with the owner (Heather) has been great. She is very generous, kind, and committed to her business.

It hurts to know there are women out there suffering who will never know or have the opportunity to work with women like Laureen and Heather because this issue is hardly talked about and this field is so rare. I hope more doctors and physical therapists see the value in this work and can relieve more woman of their pain.

-- Julie T., 12/4/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by R.D., age 38

"I had a severe tear during childbirth that was not stitched together correctly and therefore healed poorly. Even after having a surgery a year later to remove the scar tissue, I was still having pain, and no one could explain why -- there was no overt 'reason' to explain the pain. I had tried other 'specialists' and even saw another physical therapist who had me do hip / leg stretches -- what a joke! I was about to give up and just 'live with it' until thankfully I kept searching online and found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by R.D., age 38

Testimonial by Jamie M.

I have been going to see Heather for a while now, and I can't tell you enough how much she has improved my quality of life. Heather specializes in issues like pelvic floor, but I see her for other orthopedic issues.

I have a lot of chronic joint pain and dysfunction issues (back, hips, neck) that require that have ongoing physical therapy maintenance. The effects of my problem joints/areas overlap and interconnect with each other in complex ways, so helping me requires really having a complete understanding of the entire skeletal and muscular system. Pain does not always appear where the problem actually is, the human body is a twisty, many-layered puzzle. I have an exercise program I do at home and I am very functional, but there are just something things I need a PT to help me out with.

Read more: Testimonial by Jamie M.

Testimonial by M.M.

A personal journey and testimonial from one of my patients:

My husband and I were married for 5 years before we were able to have intercourse due to my vaginismus. There was nothing traumatic in my past but for some reason, even though I wanted sex, I mentally avoided "that area" of my body and didn't even admit to myself that there was a problem for a long time, even though I was never able to put tampons in. Once I finally opened my eyes up to the fact that I had a problem, I had a surgery that was supposed to fix the issue.

Read more: Testimonial by M.M.

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