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What is a Ruined Orgasm?

Learn the difference between an intentional vs. unintentional ruined orgasm and what it all means.

My office frequently receives calls and emails about orgasm function. "Can you help my orgasms be more intense? Can you help me if I've never had an orgasm? Does my pelvic pain affect my orgasm? I can't orgasm, I can only get aroused-can you help with this, too?"

What all our patients receive after their thorough history and physical examination is education. The clitoris is so much more than what you see peeking out of the hood. It's a large structure that extends underneath the hood and has 'legs" (medically termed "crura") that extend along the pubic ramus and bulbs that lie on either side of the vaginal opening. Understanding your own anatomy is key to figuring out what your next steps are.

Orgasm Related Problems and Solutions

Anorgasmia and Dysorgasmia are clinical terms whose symptoms include complete lack of orgasm, diminished orgasms, and even painful orgasms. Causes can include physical, mental, and emotional factors.

Dysorgasmia / Painful Orgasms

Dysorgasmia is defined as a painful orgasm, but without any prior pain during sexual intercourse. The pain often manifests as a cramping sensation in the pelvis, buttock(s) or abdomen. The duration of pain can last from seconds to minutes to several hours.

Read here for more information on anorgasmia and dysorgasmia.

From the article: Though a ruined orgasm might sound like it has a simple definition — an orgasm that is ruined or halts before full climax – it can have multiple meanings. Some ruined orgasms are intentional, while others are not and can leave one feeling sexually frustrated. Those that are unintentional can also have multiple causes, both physical and emotional, which vary from person to person.

To get to the bottom of what is a ruined orgasm, the difference between an intentional and unintentional ruined orgasm, and how to stop having unintentional ruined orgasms, we reached out to healthcare providers and experts to get professional advice on everything to do with ruined orgasms.

Physical causes of an unintentional ruined orgasm:

Dr. Jeffcoat tells O.school that those who experience pain during sex often deal with ruined orgasms. They may often be dismissed by medical providers with statements such as “It’s all in your head,” or “It’s a normal part of aging.” However, Dr. Jeffcoat states that a ruined orgasm can be caused by the following physical conditions:

  • Vaginismus (involves muscle spasms in the pelvic floor muscles)
  • Vulvodynia (chronic, unidentified vulvar pain)
  • Vestibulodynia (chronic, unidentified pain in the vestibule area of the vulva
  • Endometriosis (a painful disorder caused by tissue that lines the uterus growing outside of the uterus)
  • Interstitial cystitis (a chronic, painful bladder condition, now called painful bladder syndrome.
  • Dysorgasmia (painful orgasms)
  • Dyspareunia (painful intercourse)
  • Postcoital pain
  • Nerve entrapment (in more severe cases)

If you are still curious to learn more about ruined orgasm, continue to the full article here.

Call or write to us with your own questions or comments, we would love to hear from you and we are here to help!

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What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by J.H.

My last appointment with Heather was over 6 years ago but I still think of her every day. I don’t take for granted that I can easily get out of bed, care for my two active and busy young boys, run, play tennis, clean my house, or sit at a desk for several hours at a time. None of these tasks were easy for me before meeting Heather. Eight years ago my car was struck from behind by a tractor trailer that was estimated to have been speeding. I spent 3 years working with different PTs and Drs trying to heal and move on with my life. When I became pregnant and the hormone relaxin that “relaxes” all the joints of the body and the additional weight gain erased all my progress and I was suddenly in a lot of pain again. My OB sent me to Heather for one last try.

Read more: Testimonial by J.H.

Testimonial by M.N., age 28

A personal journey and testimonial from one of my patients:

I was diagnosed with vaginismus 4 years ago. I never heard of such medical condition until after I got married. At first my husband and I didn't know what to do, we didn't know what the issues were or how to overcome it. Being born and raised in Armenia and being Christian I wasn't that open about talking to sex with others and so it wasn't easy to seek help. But eventually I went to an Ob-Gyn and luckily she knew about the medical condition (not many doctors know). She referred me to a physical therapist and I couldn't believe it and thought it's something I can handle myself. I ordered a kit from vaginismus.com and started practicing with dilators. There was some small progress but wasn't much helpful.

Read more: Testimonial by M.N., age 28

Testimonial by J.B.

My husband and I were having problems with painful intercourse. My therapist recommended that I go and get a pelvic floor evaluation from a physical therapist. Having never been treated by a physical therapist, I wondered how this really was going to help me. My husband who is a physician was very supportive and agreed that a PT evaluation would be a great idea. So i made the appointment and was blown away by what I learned. I had no idea that pelvic floor muscles could get tight and have trigger points just like any other muscle in the body. I'm a massage therapist and very familiar with tight muscles, and this new thought really amazed me. Heather's program to help relax and strengthen these muscles made such a difference. I can say that I am 100% pain free during intercourse now. Yippee! Going to the PT appointments and doing the at-home exercises was definitely a discipline, but it's 100% worth it! The rewards are amazing.

-- J.B.

Testimonial by J.B.

My husband and I were having problems with painful intercourse. My therapist recommended that I go and get a pelvic floor evaluation from a physical therapist. Having never been treated by a physical therapist, I wondered how this really was going to help me. My husband who is a physician was very supportive and agreed that a PT evaluation would be a great idea. So i made the appointment and was blown away by what I learned. I had no idea that pelvic floor muscles could get tight and have trigger points just like any other muscle in the body. I'm a massage therapist and very familiar with tight muscles, and this new thought really amazed me. Heather's program to help relax and strengthen these muscles made such a difference. I can say that I am 100% pain free during intercourse now. Yippee! Going to the PT appointments and doing the at-home exercises was definitely a discipline, but it's 100% worth it! The rewards are amazing.

-- J.B.

Testimonial by R.H.

No one could tell me why I was having pain during sex--sharp pain, not just uncomfortable, pain. I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat after researching several different options. I had seen a specialist who told me physical therapy would not help and my only option was surgery. I really didn't want to go that route, so when we got a referral, I decided to try it--it can't hurt, I thought. I am so glad I did. She diagnosed the problem right away, which was a relief in itself.

To know why I was having pain eased my mind immensely. And to hear that she could fix it without surgery was another relief. She said she could fix the problem in 6 weeks. I think it was actually 4 for me. She was very methodical, and treated me as an intelligent human being capable of participating in my own recovery. I would absolutely recommend her to anyone. She did not try to prolong my session numbers, she worked hard to accommodate my schedule (and the fact that I had to bring a baby to sessions), and she was completely honest the entire time. It is so hard to find someone with these characteristics, much less a professional who is so good at what she does. She has my highest respect.

-- R.H.

Testimonial by S.S., age 54

Heather is the best! I saw her today for terrible hip/groin pain. I was so impressed with the safety measures in place and felt completely safe . Thanks for the healing hands.

S.S., age 54

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