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How Do I Know If I Came or Accidentally Peed
Tatiana Maksimova/Getty Images
Some might be surprised to learn that the question "how do I know if I came or accidentally peed?" is even a thing. Healthline author Gabrielle Kassel went looking for answers to this age old question, and when she reached out to me for my take I was happy to oblige. Here is a brief synopsis of the article with a link to the full article below.

Heather Jeffcoat

Have You Ever Asked "How Do I Know If I Came or Accidentally Peed During Sex?"

You might be surprised to learn how common this question actually is.

Everyone knows the sensation of having to pee so bad that you thought you would explode. Perhaps the nearest public restrooms are closed for repairs, or you are stuck in traffic with no end in sight, or you're in a long line to get in a movie and you don't want to lose your place in line. In any case, that rush of relief that you feel when you finally get to go is probably the closest you can get to having an orgasm without actually doing so - with the possible exception of a really good sneeze!

But what if you regularly have a hard time distinguishing between the sensation of peeing and having an orgasm? If you're an avid reader of our site you know that we have addressed all kinds of issues that include both having an orgasm and peeing, but this is the first time we've ever addressed getting the two mixed up! Gabrielle Kassel went on a deep dive looking for answers in this latest article, which begins:

What’s the short answer?

Sadly, yelling “Hey Siri, did I just come or pee???” after sex won’t give you the answer you want.

And if not knowing the answer isn't enough of a mood killer, the failures of AI just rubbed salt into the wound, so to speak! Of course it helps to know what an orgasm feels like, right? Ask Siri that too while you're at it - haha! Better yet, ask some real people. The article continues:

What does an orgasm feel like — does it depend on the type?

Asking what an orgasm feels like is like asking what happens after death, or which Survivor contestant was the best. Ask 100 people and you’ll get 100 different answers.

Common descriptions for orgasm include:

  • Release of pressure
  • Waves of goodness
  • Pulse of pleasure
  • Tingling ecstasy
  • Fireworks
  • Breath of fresh air after being underwater

If any of the above rings true to you, chances are you already know the difference between the two bodily functions. But in the heat of the moment, some people still have difficulty knowing which is which. And then there's the matter of not being able to orgasm at all, or at least not with a feeling of satisfaction - and sometimes even with accompanying pain. This is known as dysorgasmia, and we have a number of articles about it here.

Then there's the matter of "squirting", which occurs when fluid is explled from the urethra during sexual arrousal. While there is not a definitive difference between "squirting" and female ejaculation, the sensation of either can fall in the gray area somewhere between peeing and having an orgasm - which is not surprising considering the source of this fluid is the urethra rather than the vagina. And some women experience squirting during orgasm, which further clouds the issue.

Let's say you've come this far (pun intended!) and still aren't sure. What should you do if you feel like you accidentally peed?

First things first: Breathe. Sex features a whole slew of bodily fluids! It’s messy! It’s wet! So if you did pee, no big.

Immediately afterward, let your comfort levels and hygiene preferences dictate your next move. In general, it’s a good move to throw your sheets in the wash, hop in the shower, and disinfect any sex toys you used.

Whether you tell your partner is up to you. You are not obligated to tell your partner! If you tell them, it’s because you’re sharing a bit more info about what that sexperience was like for you.

You could say:

“That felt different than usual! I think I may have peed a little bit. Did you notice anything different in how my body was responding?”

“Baby, can you get out of bed for a second? I peed a little bit during sex so I want to toss these blankets into the wash.”

Sharing this kind of intel with your partner is vulnerable. But how your partner responds will tell you a lot about their suitability as a long-term partner. No lover who deserves you will make you feel bad about anything your body did during sex!

Is there anything you can do to prevent accidental urination moving forward?

The article then goes deeper into the topic of "watersports" vs what is known as "coital incontinence":

If you peed during sex once or twice, there’s no need to ring the alarm.

But if peeing during sex becomes a regular thing, Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy who specializes in sexual dysfunction, pain, and incontinence, and author of “Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve” recommends talking with a healthcare professional.

Peeing regularly during sex is known as coital incontinence. It could be a symptom of pelvic floor dysfunction, urethral dysfunction, or another form of incontinence, such as stress incontinence and mixed incontinence.

The reason working with a healthcare professional is crucial is that there are treatments for coital incontinence, such as pelvic floor therapy, surgery, bladder training, and pharmacology.

In other words, with the proper treatment plan, you may be able to stop peeing while you play!

To be clear: Here, we’re talking about peeing accidentally during sex. Peeing intentionally during sex (AKA enjoying “watersports”) is different, and does not call for medical intervention.

The bottom line

There is a lot more to this topic that is covered in the full article here. And if you still find yourself asking "how do I know if I came or accidentally peed?", click here to schedule an appointment with us.

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Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has honestly changed my life. Before receiving treatment at Femina, I was going doctor to doctor to try and find the answer to my pelvic pain. It has taken me YEARS to find someone that can help fix this. It wasn't until my gynecologist recommended your clinic that I finally felt relief. My pelvic pain is almost gone, and granted I still have a lot more to work on with Laureen (my PT), my original problem is nearly cured. I am so grateful to her.

What is even better is she gave me practical exercises to do at home that were not tedious and provided instant (and lasting) relief. Although I mainly work with Laureen, my interaction with the owner (Heather) has been great. She is very generous, kind, and committed to her business.

It hurts to know there are women out there suffering who will never know or have the opportunity to work with women like Laureen and Heather because this issue is hardly talked about and this field is so rare. I hope more doctors and physical therapists see the value in this work and can relieve more woman of their pain.

-- Julie T., 12/4/16 via Yelp!

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I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

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Testimonial by Julie T.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has honestly changed my life. Before receiving treatment at Femina, I was going doctor to doctor to try and find the answer to my pelvic pain. It has taken me YEARS to find someone that can help fix this. It wasn't until my gynecologist recommended your clinic that I finally felt relief. My pelvic pain is almost gone, and granted I still have a lot more to work on with Laureen (my PT), my original problem is nearly cured. I am so grateful to her.

What is even better is she gave me practical exercises to do at home that were not tedious and provided instant (and lasting) relief. Although I mainly work with Laureen, my interaction with the owner (Heather) has been great. She is very generous, kind, and committed to her business.

It hurts to know there are women out there suffering who will never know or have the opportunity to work with women like Laureen and Heather because this issue is hardly talked about and this field is so rare. I hope more doctors and physical therapists see the value in this work and can relieve more woman of their pain.

-- Julie T., 12/4/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Amanda W.

Heather's unique physical therapy program literally changed my life! After years of struggling with vaginismus, a condition that made it impossible for me to have intercourse and very difficult to use tampons without pain, a gynecologist referred me to Heather. I was nervous for my first appointment, but Heather's professional and friendly demeanor put me at ease. She did a great job explaining each technique she was using to help my muscles relax. Heather uses a combination of internal and external stretches and exercises to relax the pelvic floor and build muscle strength. Her specially developed home program helped me quickly recover from an issue that seemed insurmountable before meeting Heather. She was optimistic about my progress and incredibly encouraging. Less than 6 months after my first session, I was able to have pain-free sex for the first time in my life! If you are suffering from vaginismus or any other pelvic floor issues, I highly recommend making an appointment with Heather and reading her book!

-- Amanda W., 2/15/16 via Yelp!

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No one could tell me why I was having pain during sex--sharp pain, not just uncomfortable, pain. I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat after researching several different options. I had seen a specialist who told me physical therapy would not help and my only option was surgery. I really didn't want to go that route, so when we got a referral, I decided to try it--it can't hurt, I thought. I am so glad I did. She diagnosed the problem right away, which was a relief in itself.

To know why I was having pain eased my mind immensely. And to hear that she could fix it without surgery was another relief. She said she could fix the problem in 6 weeks. I think it was actually 4 for me. She was very methodical, and treated me as an intelligent human being capable of participating in my own recovery. I would absolutely recommend her to anyone. She did not try to prolong my session numbers, she worked hard to accommodate my schedule (and the fact that I had to bring a baby to sessions), and she was completely honest the entire time. It is so hard to find someone with these characteristics, much less a professional who is so good at what she does. She has my highest respect.

-- R.H.

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While pregnant with my twins, Heather took care with keeping me on my feet and pain free. She saved my back, my sanity and the holidays! I would recommend her to every “mom” looking to stay on her feet during pregnancy and post-partum.

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