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what you need to know about anorgasmia
Brad Gregory/Getty Images

Healthline reached out to Heather Jeffcoat for what you need to know about anorgasmia

Movies make it seem like orgasming is as universal an experience as, say, post-bean farts.

But some women can’t get off.

It’s called anorgasmia, and it’s more common than Rom Coms or erotica might have you believe.

Wait, what’s anorgasmia?

Anorgasmia is defined as the inability to achieve orgasm, despite sufficient sexual stimulation and is associated with personal distress,” says Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy who specializes in sexual dysfunction, pain, and incontinence, and author of “Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve.

Those last four words are important: associated with personal distress.

The inability to orgasm only qualifies as anorgasmia if it’s accompanied by feelings of:

  • frustration
  • self-doubt
  • shame
  • inadequacy
  • anger

Are there different types?

There’s a diagnostic classification system based on whether it has been lifelong or acquired,”

explains Jeffcoat. There’s also something called situational anorgasmia.

Sex tips and tricks

For starters: lube!

When women's estrogen levels dip, they lose natural lubrication, so if they aren’t already, they need to begin supplementing with a lubricant,

says Jeffcoat.

Second, switch it up! Especially if you’re still having the same type of sex you were having in your 20s.

You need to update what your sex life looks like in your 40s,” says Jeffcoat. “This may include different positions, more or different lube, working through psychological barriers, and incorporating more outercourse.”

What to expect in your 50s and beyond

The average age most women hit menopause is 51.

Menopause can bring along changes like even less lubrication and less elasticity, which can make penetration painful,”

says Jeffcoat.

There is much more to this topic, and if you are still curious about what you need to know about anorgasmia, continue reading the full article here.

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Testimonial by Rosanna R., age 35

Heather has affected my life in the MOST POSITIVE way and I am forever grateful. My husband refers to her as the "sex doctor" so you can only imagine how happy he is with my therapy outcome.

After the birth of my son I suffered from "Vaginismus", however, at the time I just thought I was broken. My "broken vagina" affected me physically but it was an emotional struggle as well. Many women in my life also suffered with pain from sex after their babies were born so I knew I wasn't alone. They told me they "just got used to it" but I couldn't see myself living that way.

Sex wasn't just painful, it was literally impossible - IT DIDNT FIT!

Read more: Testimonial by Rosanna R.,...

Testimonial by Mary L.

I started seeing Heather to treat my Interstitial Cystitis in November 2016. At this time, I was extremely miserable, in constant pain, and felt as though no one was listening or understood what was going on with my body. I have just finished my last appointment and I can honestly say that my life has completely changed for the better because of Heather and her team of PTs! I live almost completely pain free, and when I do have flare ups, I am able to treat them at home on my own. I am so grateful that this office was recommended to me a honestly cannot recommend them enough!

Read more: Testimonial by Mary L.

Testimonial by Lauren B.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has been such an answer to prayer, i'm so glad I found them! I've been struggling with vaginismus my whole life, but didn't have a name for it until about 6 or 7 months ago. Even once I did have a name for it though, I didn't know where to begin in getting help. My OB/GYN had me get a set of dilators, but I couldn't even insert the smallest one by myself. Most times I tried I just ended up frustrated and in tears. I felt really alone, like I was broken and didn't have the energy to keep trying. When I got engaged a few months ago though, I realized I needed to get answers so i wasn't dreading my honeymoon.

Read more: Testimonial by Lauren B.

Testimonial by M.M.

My husband and I were married for 5 years and unable to have intercourse, but I never knew why. After numerous awful experiences at doctor’s offices (where many doctors told me I “just needed to relax”), a surgery that didn’t fix the problem, and a year of owning dilators that didn’t get me anywhere, someone finally referred me to Heather for Physical Therapy. I finally had answers and information from someone who knew exactly what I was dealing with!

Read more: Testimonial by M.M.

Testimonial by Mary L.

I started seeing Heather to treat my Interstitial Cystitis in November 2016. At this time, I was extremely miserable, in constant pain, and felt as though no one was listening or understood what was going on with my body. I have just finished my last appointment and I can honestly say that my life has completely changed for the better because of Heather and her team of PTs! I live almost completely pain free, and when I do have flare ups, I am able to treat them at home on my own. I am so grateful that this office was recommended to me a honestly cannot recommend them enough!

Read more: Testimonial by Mary L.

Testimonial by T.H.

I started seeing Heather in October 2014. For more than two years, I had been suffering from painful urinary tract infection type symptoms after my bartholins gland surgery which included constant burning and urinary frequency sensation that led to more and more painful intercourse. I had made multiple visits to internist, obgyn and urologist's offices, went through a range of treatment with UTI and bladder frequency medication that included antibiotics, vesicare, estrogen cream, but nothing worked.

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