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Heather Jeffcoat at Buzzfeed
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things you should have been taught in sex ed
Cassandra Corrado / Via giphy.com
Buzzfeed author Lara Parker penned a highly informative article on all types of things you should have been taught in sex ed, and she reached out to Heather Jeffcoat for her advice on how to deal with issues of painful sex and related concerns. Here is a brief synopsis, with a link to the full article below.

Things You Should Have Been Taught in Sex Ed

Here's Some Sex Education You Actually Need, Including How Much Porn Is Too Much and Whether You Really Need to Pee After Sex

Let's just say there's a lot that's not always covered in sex ed.

Sometimes the sex education we learn around the world isn't, well, that educational. So we've spoken to sex educators, doctors, and medical experts of all kinds to compile some information we think everyone should have access to. This list is not exhaustive, and will probably always need adding onto, so feel free to let us know what you may still be curious about at the end!

19. Painful sex is not normal. And according to Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, pelvic floor physical therapist and author of the book, Sex Without Pain, sex is not supposed to hurt — ever! If it does, the reasons for this pain must be determined. She adds that, unfortunately, our society has normalized pain to the point where women are not seeking what could be critical care. So let's dive into reasons as to why this may be the case.

Treatments that can not only lead them to a painfree sex life, but that may also uncover medical conditions that could and should be treated in a timely manner. There is always a reason for painful sex, says Dr. Jeffcoat, but the challenge can be in finding a provider that will be the detective to help you find the reason and set up the right treatment plan. If a provider tells you "there is nothing wrong" and you are having pain, you need to switch providers. There are many reasons that sex could hurt for those with vaginas including but not limited to:

  1. vaginismus
  2. vulvodynia or vestibulodynia and subtypes of these (including clitordynia (or clitoral pain)
  3. endometriosis
  4. hymen abnormalities (such as an imperforate or septate hymen)
  5. vaginal septum
  6. local or systemic hormone deficiencies (typically estrogen and testosterone)
  7. Lichen sclerosus or lichens planus
  8. sexually transmitted infections
  9. Bartholin’s cyst
  10. Ovarian cyst
  11. other infections such as yeast or UTI
  12. vaginal ulcer
  13. post-operative pain due to scar tissue

The pain being "all in your head", by the way, is never a reason. If you are ever told this by a provider, you should immediately go find a new provider.

The above is just a brief excerpt from this detailed article. For 28 other things you should have been taught in sex ed, continue to the full article here.

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by A.M.

Months after giving birth, it was difficult for me to go from a sitting or lying position up to a full standing position without feeling that I had to remain hunched over until a bit of time had passed to get fully upright. However, after taking Heather’s course, I learned exercises to get my body back to normal. She also showed me correct ways to lift and carry my son as well as put him in/take him out of the carseat and stroller. This class was really beneficial and Heather is a wonderful teacher who made me feel very comfortable.

-- A.M.

Testimonial by Y.L. (mom of 2)

After having my second baby via C-section I searched for months to try to find help for my lower back pain and separated abdominal muscles. I finally came across Heather Jeffcoat via a mommy blog. I reached out to her via email and set my first appointment. My first appointment went amazing … she listened to what my symptoms, check my separation and explained to me in detail what the next steps would be. Not only did my abdominal separation go from 3 to about 1 -1/2 but my back has pain has significantly reduced. I’m personally recommending all my mommy friends to Heather!

Y.L. (mom of 2)

Testimonial by Rosanna R., age 35

Heather has affected my life in the MOST POSITIVE way and I am forever grateful. My husband refers to her as the "sex doctor" so you can only imagine how happy he is with my therapy outcome.

After the birth of my son I suffered from "Vaginismus", however, at the time I just thought I was broken. My "broken vagina" affected me physically but it was an emotional struggle as well. Many women in my life also suffered with pain from sex after their babies were born so I knew I wasn't alone. They told me they "just got used to it" but I couldn't see myself living that way.

Sex wasn't just painful, it was literally impossible - IT DIDNT FIT!

Read more: Testimonial by Rosanna R.,...

Testimonial by A.B.

Before I was referred to Heather Jeffcoat I was living in a nightmare. I had been married to my husband for three years and I was suffering from Vaginismus. That all changed when I visited my OBGYN and she said she knew of someone with a great success rate. To be honest I was hesitant at first because my first doctor had already told me that all I needed to do was order dilators from the internet and I should overcome my problem. She was wrong because I had followed the book on how to use the dilators with absolutely no advancements in my condition. However, that all changed when I went in for my first visit and Heather took the time to explain my condition and how we were going to work together to overcome it.

I remember leaving her office with a glimmer of hope that I could live a normal life. As my sessions continued I began to see immediate results. With only four sessions and a strict dedication to my home programs I was cured of Vaginismus. In the beginning of this process I was made aware that my health insurance company might not cover the costs, which was disappointing but today I can say one hundred percent that it was the best money I ever spent. Now thanks to Heather I am finally enjoying my life to the fullest with my husband. Thank you Heather, I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done for me. I will never forget it. Those who are suffering from these types of conditions don’t be afraid because she makes you feel so comfortable and the end result is worth it. Good luck to you all and I hope you experience the success I have.
-- A.B.

Testimonial by R.D., age 38

"I had a severe tear during childbirth that was not stitched together correctly and therefore healed poorly. Even after having a surgery a year later to remove the scar tissue, I was still having pain, and no one could explain why -- there was no overt 'reason' to explain the pain. I had tried other 'specialists' and even saw another physical therapist who had me do hip / leg stretches -- what a joke! I was about to give up and just 'live with it' until thankfully I kept searching online and found Heather.

Read more: Testimonial by R.D., age 38

Testimonial by S.P., Age 26

I would like to start off by thanking Heather Jeffcoat for educating me and curing me of Vaginismus. I had been married for almost three years before I was referred to Heather. I never knew about Vaginismus until almost three years into my marriage. I knew something was wrong when I went on my honeymoon and came back a Virgin. I had always imagined how magical my first night would be but boy was I wrong.

Read more: Testimonial by S.P., Age 26

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