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unsplash: Sabina Tone
unsplash: Sabina Tone

You counted down the weeks until your baby’s arrival…

now you and your partner are counting down the days until your doctor gives you the green light to have sex again.

That’s a good thing; intimacy is an important factor in your relationship and your own well-being. But whether this is your first baby, or you’re sure it’s your last, your anticipation might be tinged with some anxiety. After all, your body has been through a lot since that positive pregnancy test result.

Sleepless nights, fluctuating hormones, and breastfeeding challenges can take a toll. Perhaps you’re still healing from a C-section or a physically challenging delivery. Even if giving birth was a breeze, and this is your easiest baby yet, you may worry that your expectations aren’t in sync with your partner’s.

When it comes to your postpartum sex life, what’s the new normal? And how soon can you get there?

Every birth experience is different; but by the time you celebrate your baby’s first birthday, your new normal will probably look a lot like your old normal. That’s not just my opinion; I’ve got the scientific data to prove it.

According to the results of a study recently published in the Journal Of Sexual Medicine, researchers recruited more than 500 women about to give birth. Each one was asked to describe their sex life four weeks before they became pregnant, as well as their expectations for sex after their baby’s arrival. The researchers tracked each woman’s delivery experience and checked in with them at three, six, and twelve months postpartum.

For all the reasons you’d imagine, a significant number of women reported ‘decline in sexual function’ at the three- and six-month marks; but the research found that neither their earlier expectations nor their method of delivery altered their sexual function after twelve months. This was true even for patients who experienced C-sections, physical trauma, or birth-related injury.

Similar data was also found in a 2015 study. This study found that nearly 9 out of 10 women experienced painful sex on their first attempt after delivery! This was also found to be influenced by mode of delivery, with women having an emergency or elective c-section or vacuum extraction vaginal delivery showing substantially higher odds of dyspareunia (the medical term for painful sex) at 18 months post-partum. This study highlights the need for early intervention in post-partum care. 18 months post-partum, nearly 1 in 4 women were still experiencing painful sex (23.4%)! Other risk factors were reported to increase painful sex post-partum, one of them being preconception dyspareunia. Many physicians will tell my patients “having a baby will cure their painful sex” – But NOT TRUE, and certainly not evidenced based! These problems do not get significantly better with time (and in some cases, will get worse). Additionally these rates are especially interesting, as the largest group of women represented in the study had a University degree or higher.

Two equally important takeaways

It’s completely normal not to feel normal during sex after childbirth, sometimes for several months. You’ll get there; in the meantime, ditch the baggage of expectations and timetables; just enjoy the journey with your partner.

And if you haven’t found your rhythm after a year? Don’t be discouraged by this data. Let me encourage you, instead, to seek help – especially if you’re experiencing painful sex. It’s more common that you think; and a qualified women’s health physical therapist can treat it successfully without drugs or surgery. Don’t suffer in silence any longer, though – schedule a consult with Femina PT today.

Childbirth is challenging; but your body is amazing. With time and patience – and, if necessary, a little bit of help – you and your partner can once again enjoy the sex life you deserve.

Citations

Spaich S., Link G., Ortiz Alvarez S., et al 2020. Influence Of Peripartum Expectations, Mode Of Delivery, and Perineal Injury on Women’s Postpartum Sexuality. J Sex Med June 10, 2020, online.

McDonald E.A., Gartland D., et al. Dyspareunia and childbirth: a prospective cohort study. BJOG 21 Jan 2015.

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by Alexandra B.

Heather is without exaggerating AMAZING! After years of trouble with a certain part of my body, in no time, she made everything change back to equilibrium and to what would be considered normal. She explains everything in detail and therefore gives you a better understanding of why things are the way they are, and how you can work towards turning things around. I would highly recommend Heather for any type of Physical Therapy. She has created her own "Method/Therapy" through years of studying (with some of the greatest practitioners), practice and breaking down the issues of her past patients, enabling her to fine tune her own system. I'm so thankful to have found her, and I'm especially grateful for the quick recovery I've achieved, after years of distress. If you cannot afford her, I recommend you purchase her book. Although it may not be Heather in person, it can still help you to get on the right path to recovery!

-- Alexandra B., 5/20/2015 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Carolina J.

I had tried Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy before (with another PT) and I had a really bad (painful) experience. A friend of mine and fellow patient, told me about Heather, Laureen and Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) and I decided to try again. I am so happy I did! Femina PT have, literally, changed my life. I was able to do again things I couldn't do for over 10 years!! Their bedside manners are impeccable, their knowledge and understanding make me feel comfortable to recommend this place to anyone in pain. Specially if you have Endometriosis. 100% recommended!!

-- Carolina J., 12/28/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Lauren B.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has been such an answer to prayer, i'm so glad I found them! I've been struggling with vaginismus my whole life, but didn't have a name for it until about 6 or 7 months ago. Even once I did have a name for it though, I didn't know where to begin in getting help. My OB/GYN had me get a set of dilators, but I couldn't even insert the smallest one by myself. Most times I tried I just ended up frustrated and in tears. I felt really alone, like I was broken and didn't have the energy to keep trying. When I got engaged a few months ago though, I realized I needed to get answers so i wasn't dreading my honeymoon.

Read more: Testimonial by Lauren B.

Testimonial by Jamie M.

I have been going to see Heather for a while now, and I can't tell you enough how much she has improved my quality of life. Heather specializes in issues like pelvic floor, but I see her for other orthopedic issues.

I have a lot of chronic joint pain and dysfunction issues (back, hips, neck) that require that have ongoing physical therapy maintenance. The effects of my problem joints/areas overlap and interconnect with each other in complex ways, so helping me requires really having a complete understanding of the entire skeletal and muscular system. Pain does not always appear where the problem actually is, the human body is a twisty, many-layered puzzle. I have an exercise program I do at home and I am very functional, but there are just something things I need a PT to help me out with.

Read more: Testimonial by Jamie M.

Testimonial by M.N., age 28

A personal journey and testimonial from one of my patients:

I was diagnosed with vaginismus 4 years ago. I never heard of such medical condition until after I got married. At first my husband and I didn't know what to do, we didn't know what the issues were or how to overcome it. Being born and raised in Armenia and being Christian I wasn't that open about talking to sex with others and so it wasn't easy to seek help. But eventually I went to an Ob-Gyn and luckily she knew about the medical condition (not many doctors know). She referred me to a physical therapist and I couldn't believe it and thought it's something I can handle myself. I ordered a kit from vaginismus.com and started practicing with dilators. There was some small progress but wasn't much helpful.

Read more: Testimonial by M.N., age 28

Testimonial by Fritzette H.

I went to Heather after the birth of my third child. It was lucky, really, that I was referred to her, because my doctor had referred me to a surgeon for a possible hysterectomy or pelvic wall rebuild. Thankfully, I went to Heather before undergoing either surgery, she was able to fix the problem. She has studied extensively in women's health--even written a book about it--and was able to diagnose my problem, suggest a course of treatment (6 weeks), and then follow through with said treatment. By the end, as she said, I was as good as gold. Boy, was it worth it! Though uncomfortable to talk about, much less write about, it is worth getting the word out there. If you have painful intercourse, especially after birth or other trauma, the treatment may be as simple as Physical Therapy (with Heather, of course). I highly recommend her.

-- Fritzette H., 3/24/16 via Yelp!

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