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Involving your partner in your pelvic floor therapy may improve your outcomes and your relationship.

Here are some ways you can involve your partner in your pelvic floor physical therapy:

Start Talking About Your Experience.

Both studies and clinical experience have shown that talking to your partner about your sexuality, pelvic floor issues, and sharing the progress you’re making in pelvic floor therapy can improve anxiety, reduce pain levels, and bring more intimacy to your relationship. As you transition to sex with your partner, sexual assertiveness will also help you find activities, angles, and positions that feel pleasurable, not painful to you and your partner.

As we mentioned in a previous blog post, a 2016 study by McNicoll et al. suggests that Sexual Assertiveness, or the ability to communicate openly to your partner about your sexual experience, may reduce the pain experienced with provoked vestibulodynia (PVD), increase sexual function, and encourage your partner to communicate you in ways that help boost your sexual health.

What is Sexual Assertiveness?

Sexual assertiveness refers to the degree to which a person is able to openly communicate his or her thoughts, choices and feelings about sexuality. Sexual assertiveness is further defined as being the ability to communicate about three different areas of your sexual experience (Loshek & Terrell, 2014):

  • Sexual initiation and communicating satisfaction
  • Ability to refuse unwanted sexual acts
  • Ability to communicate about sexual risk and history

Gaining skills in sexual assertiveness can be done by practicing with your partner, opening up to friends, or with a sex therapist.

Invite your Partner a Pelvic Floor Therapy Session

Yes, you can invite your partner to a pelvic floor therapy session! I often work with clients and their partners to do basic education regarding pelvic pain, explain the process of therapy, and help troubleshoot positions, timing, and transition to sex. If you are under the care of a pelvic floor therapist, ask your therapist if they are open to having your partner come to a session. You can also contact us for a telehealth session in California (or virtual consultation worldwide).

Show your Partner your Exercises

While some clients may be uncomfortable showing their dilator kit to their partner, as a pelvic floor therapist I'd recommend doing it and early on in your therapy. It's fun to celebrate getting to the next size with your partner and also to keep them up to date on your progress.

Besides your dilator exercises, chances are your pelvic floor therapist has assigned you some pelvic floor stretches, mindfulness practice, breathing exercises, foam rolling, or core stability exercises to go along with your dilator program. Share these exercises with your partner to help build closeness and to share your experience and journey with them.

Share Educational Resources

Recently there has been more educational materials available to share about pelvic pain, vaginismus, and the lived experience of someone with pelvic pain. Here are some favorites:

Play with Your Partner

Pelvic pain can have an effect on quality of life as well as your relationships. Doing other sensual activities together such as sensate focus, partner massage, or even stretching together can help rekindle a sense of physical intimacy with your partner. Sex therapists often work with couples to help find the right exercises for your relationship.

Plan with Your Partner

Transition to sex with your partner requires planning, working together, and practice. As with the case with any new skill, it takes some patience to build confidence, and sex is no exception. Working with your pelvic floor therapist, you can create a transition plan with your partner so that the transition to sex is informed, comfortable, and pleasurable to both partners.

Check out our list of recommended products that can help with the transition to sex: https://feminapt.com/resources/product-recommendations

Also be sure to read our latest article on sexual assertiveness here: https://feminapt.com/blog/sexual-assertiveness-may-reduce-your-pelvic-pain


Cano, A., & Williams, A. C. C. (2010). Social interaction in pain: Reinforcing pain behaviors or building intimacy? Pain, 149, 9–11. doi:10.1016/j.pain.2009.10.010.

Loshek, E., & Terrell, H. K. (2014). The Development of the Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire (SAQ): A Comprehensive Measure of Sexual Assertiveness for Women. The Journal of Sex Research, 52(9), 1017–1027. doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.944970

McNicoll, G., Corsini-Munt, S., O. Rosen, N., McDuff, P., & Bergeron, S. (2016). Sexual Assertiveness Mediates the Associations Between Partner Facilitative Responses and Sexual Outcomes in Women With Provoked Vestibulodynia. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 43(7), 663–677. doi:10.1080/0092623x.2016.1230806

Rancourt, K. M., Rosen, N. O., Bergeron, S., & Nealis, L. J. (2016). Talking About Sex When Sex Is Painful: Dyadic Sexual Communication Is Associated With Women’s Pain, and Couples’ Sexual and Psychological Outcomes in Provoked Vestibulodynia. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 45(8), 1933–1944. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0670-6

Rosen, N. O., Bergeron, S., Glowacka, M., Delisle, I., & Baxter, M. L. (2012). Harmful or Helpful: Perceived Solicitous and Facilitative Partner Responses Are Differentially Associated with Pain and Sexual Satisfaction in Women with Provoked Vestibulodynia. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9(9), 2351–2360. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02851.x

Rosen, N. O., Rancourt, K. M., Corsini-Munt, S., & Bergeron, S. (2014). Beyond a ‘‘woman’s problem’’: The role of relationship processes in female genital pain. Current Sexual Health Reports, 6, 1–10. doi:10.1007/s11930-013-0006-2.

Smith, K. B., & Pukall, C. F. (2014). Sexual Function, Relationship Adjustment, and the Relational Impact of Pain in Male Partners of Women with Provoked Vulvar Pain. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 11(5), 1283–1293. doi:10.1111/jsm.12484

What Our Patients Have to Say


Testimonial by Julie T.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has honestly changed my life. Before receiving treatment at Femina, I was going doctor to doctor to try and find the answer to my pelvic pain. It has taken me YEARS to find someone that can help fix this. It wasn't until my gynecologist recommended your clinic that I finally felt relief. My pelvic pain is almost gone, and granted I still have a lot more to work on with Laureen (my PT), my original problem is nearly cured. I am so grateful to her.

What is even better is she gave me practical exercises to do at home that were not tedious and provided instant (and lasting) relief. Although I mainly work with Laureen, my interaction with the owner (Heather) has been great. She is very generous, kind, and committed to her business.

It hurts to know there are women out there suffering who will never know or have the opportunity to work with women like Laureen and Heather because this issue is hardly talked about and this field is so rare. I hope more doctors and physical therapists see the value in this work and can relieve more woman of their pain.

-- Julie T., 12/4/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by R.S.

I wanted to thank you so much for helping me get through something I thought I may never be able to. We have achieved pain-free intercourse and this has really solidified our marriage. We are so grateful to you for all the work you do! Thank you!!

-- R.S.

Testimonial by Jackie W.

I was in multiple car accidents a decade ago, and I have been to many physical therapists through the years without success. They found the root of my lower back pain problems and after nearly a decade of barely being able to walk I finally can again without pain. They are also the best pelvic floor pts and the only ones who found the connection between my pelvic floor and lower back problems. If you need help with physical pain, they are your answer.

-- Jackie W., 1/19/17 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Carolina J.

I had tried Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy before (with another PT) and I had a really bad (painful) experience. A friend of mine and fellow patient, told me about Heather, Laureen and Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) and I decided to try again. I am so happy I did! Femina PT have, literally, changed my life. I was able to do again things I couldn't do for over 10 years!! Their bedside manners are impeccable, their knowledge and understanding make me feel comfortable to recommend this place to anyone in pain. Specially if you have Endometriosis. 100% recommended!!

-- Carolina J., 12/28/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Y.L. (mom of 2)

After having my second baby via C-section I searched for months to try to find help for my lower back pain and separated abdominal muscles. I finally came across Heather Jeffcoat via a mommy blog. I reached out to her via email and set my first appointment. My first appointment went amazing … she listened to what my symptoms, check my separation and explained to me in detail what the next steps would be. Not only did my abdominal separation go from 3 to about 1 -1/2 but my back has pain has significantly reduced. I’m personally recommending all my mommy friends to Heather!

Y.L. (mom of 2)

Testimonial by A.M.

Months after giving birth, it was difficult for me to go from a sitting or lying position up to a full standing position without feeling that I had to remain hunched over until a bit of time had passed to get fully upright. However, after taking Heather’s course, I learned exercises to get my body back to normal. She also showed me correct ways to lift and carry my son as well as put him in/take him out of the carseat and stroller. This class was really beneficial and Heather is a wonderful teacher who made me feel very comfortable.

-- A.M.

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