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Mindfulness Is More Than A Mindset

From bullet journals to hot yoga, and five minute breathing exercises to weekend meditation retreats, mindfulness is the hashtag-goals wellness buzzword of the moment… and rightly so. It’s hard to argue with all the documented health benefits of being fully present in your activities and relationships.

But is mindfulness a magic cure for painful sex? That’s what many of my patients have been told by well-meaning friends, partners, and even medical practitioners and professional counselors. And I’ll tell you what I tell them:

The pain isn’t in your head; it’s in your muscles. It’s in your nervous system. It’s a complex interplay of the two in many cases.

What makes me so confident of that? I trust the science behind women’s physical therapy – decades of documented research that proves the pain has treatable, physical causes, not to mention the thousands of women I’ve personally treated who are now having pain free sex.

But I’m an equal opportunity champion of science; and of course, I want my patients to have every tool at their disposal on the journey to recovery. So I took a look recently at the scientific research exploring the effects of mindfulness on painful sex.

The first takeaway? We need a lot more research. According to a recent article in the Journal Of Sexual Medicine, the scientific community has been studying the effects of mindfulness-based therapy (MBT) on a wide variety of physical and psychological conditions for more than thirty years. In all that time, only fifteen articles have been published about the link between MBT and sexual dysfunction; and just four of those studies focused on treatment of painful intercourse.

Those studies – which also included patient education about sexual pleasure and physical pain, pelvic floor therapy, muscle relaxation therapy, and more – concluded that the mindfulness-based therapies, while promising, “did not make a significant change in a reduction of pain during sexual activities.”

That’s a relief to my patients who have spent years struggling with shame surrounding a mind over matter failure to ‘just get over it’. But the same research offers some good news about the mindfulness practices included in the studies. Participants (as many as fifty percent in one study) reported significant reduction of “distress linked to sexual activity and sensitivity to pain”. And those aren’t the only documented benefits.

How Mindfulness-Based Therapy Can Help With Painful Sex

  • Improved general functioning despite pain
  • Improved recognition of negative pain-related thoughts
  • Improved self-esteem and self assurance
  • Improved relationship with partners
  • Reduction in anxiety about sexual activity
  • Minor increase in sexual desire, satisfaction, and orgasm

No amount of mindfulness alone can cure pain with a physical cause; and I’ve seen firsthand how the stress generated by that myth does more harm than good to women suffering from painful sex. But mindfulness-based therapy can play an important and effective role in a holistic, medically sound approach to treating painful sex.

However you practice mindfulness, that’s one more good reason to add it to your overall health and wellness routine.

Jaderek I., Lew-Starowicz M. 2019. A Systematic Review On Mindfulness Meditation-Based Interventions For Sexual Dysfunctions. J Sex Med 16:10 1581-1596.

What Our Patients Have to Say

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Testimonial by A.M.

Months after giving birth, it was difficult for me to go from a sitting or lying position up to a full standing position without feeling that I had to remain hunched over until a bit of time had passed to get fully upright. However, after taking Heather’s course, I learned exercises to get my body back to normal. She also showed me correct ways to lift and carry my son as well as put him in/take him out of the carseat and stroller. This class was really beneficial and Heather is a wonderful teacher who made me feel very comfortable.

-- A.M.

Testimonial by T.H.

I started seeing Heather in October 2014. For more than two years, I had been suffering from painful urinary tract infection type symptoms after my bartholins gland surgery which included constant burning and urinary frequency sensation that led to more and more painful intercourse. I had made multiple visits to internist, obgyn and urologist's offices, went through a range of treatment with UTI and bladder frequency medication that included antibiotics, vesicare, estrogen cream, but nothing worked.

Read more: Testimonial by T.H.

Testimonial by Alexandra B.

Heather is without exaggerating AMAZING! After years of trouble with a certain part of my body, in no time, she made everything change back to equilibrium and to what would be considered normal. She explains everything in detail and therefore gives you a better understanding of why things are the way they are, and how you can work towards turning things around. I would highly recommend Heather for any type of Physical Therapy. She has created her own "Method/Therapy" through years of studying (with some of the greatest practitioners), practice and breaking down the issues of her past patients, enabling her to fine tune her own system. I'm so thankful to have found her, and I'm especially grateful for the quick recovery I've achieved, after years of distress. If you cannot afford her, I recommend you purchase her book. Although it may not be Heather in person, it can still help you to get on the right path to recovery!

-- Alexandra B., 5/20/2015 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Alexandra B.

Heather is without exaggerating AMAZING! After years of trouble with a certain part of my body, in no time, she made everything change back to equilibrium and to what would be considered normal. She explains everything in detail and therefore gives you a better understanding of why things are the way they are, and how you can work towards turning things around. I would highly recommend Heather for any type of Physical Therapy. She has created her own "Method/Therapy" through years of studying (with some of the greatest practitioners), practice and breaking down the issues of her past patients, enabling her to fine tune her own system. I'm so thankful to have found her, and I'm especially grateful for the quick recovery I've achieved, after years of distress. If you cannot afford her, I recommend you purchase her book. Although it may not be Heather in person, it can still help you to get on the right path to recovery!

-- Alexandra B., 5/20/2015 via Yelp!

Testimonial by Julie T.

Femina PT (née Fusion Wellness & Physical Therapy) has honestly changed my life. Before receiving treatment at Femina, I was going doctor to doctor to try and find the answer to my pelvic pain. It has taken me YEARS to find someone that can help fix this. It wasn't until my gynecologist recommended your clinic that I finally felt relief. My pelvic pain is almost gone, and granted I still have a lot more to work on with Laureen (my PT), my original problem is nearly cured. I am so grateful to her.

What is even better is she gave me practical exercises to do at home that were not tedious and provided instant (and lasting) relief. Although I mainly work with Laureen, my interaction with the owner (Heather) has been great. She is very generous, kind, and committed to her business.

It hurts to know there are women out there suffering who will never know or have the opportunity to work with women like Laureen and Heather because this issue is hardly talked about and this field is so rare. I hope more doctors and physical therapists see the value in this work and can relieve more woman of their pain.

-- Julie T., 12/4/16 via Yelp!

Testimonial by J.B.

My husband and I were having problems with painful intercourse. My therapist recommended that I go and get a pelvic floor evaluation from a physical therapist. Having never been treated by a physical therapist, I wondered how this really was going to help me. My husband who is a physician was very supportive and agreed that a PT evaluation would be a great idea. So i made the appointment and was blown away by what I learned. I had no idea that pelvic floor muscles could get tight and have trigger points just like any other muscle in the body. I'm a massage therapist and very familiar with tight muscles, and this new thought really amazed me. Heather's program to help relax and strengthen these muscles made such a difference. I can say that I am 100% pain free during intercourse now. Yippee! Going to the PT appointments and doing the at-home exercises was definitely a discipline, but it's 100% worth it! The rewards are amazing.

-- J.B.

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